A night in with Pam Ayres

I saw Pam Ayres live
And now my sides have split
At her anecdotal wonderings
She thought about and writ
I was happy sitting there
I’m not a poetry snob
But it’s a shame the bloke behind me
Kept poking me with his programme.
As far as the audience was concerned
I was the youngest there (probably!)
I’d looked after me teeth
And still had all my own hair.
We had the tale of the wonder bra
Some looked a little confused
When she started on the French Lessons
They looked even more bemused
I can be honest enough to say
It’s the best stand-up I’ve seen
Fair enough, I don’t get out much
But a funny, engaging routine.
Pam can be very naughty
I think I’m on her wavelength
But that man with his sodding programme
Dear God, please give me strength.