Let’s Dance for Comic Relief - The Final

And we’re kicking off with a group dance to 'Everybody Dance Now' and tonight’s panel has Denise van Outen and Michael McIntyre with Anton. Dick and Dom shake their tail feathers again - I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed this first time round, groovy new moves. The camera pans the audience - Ashley Cole looks cheerful doesn’t he? Paddy and Keith have the time of their lives again - they’ve been practising - but have lost the spontaneity I fear, it didn’t grab me so much this time. And they’re overdoing the staring in each others eyes a bit. Denise and Martin on the other hand have fired it up - Martin may get a vote purely on the strength of last night’s Full Monty. Loved their Shaka Laka Baby even more than the first time. Jo has taken being Britney more seriously, looks like they’ve all been getting a bit of extra practice in! The Bill’s Riverdance is fantabulistic, but then I’m half Irish so a bit biased (Grand Slam next week anyone?) the buzz generated is amazing. Robert out last - what a feeling - how do you choose between this lot? This is so funny and brilliant and his timing is incredible. I can’t vote, I love them all. I’ll let everyone else decide. While the vote is ongoing we have highlights of last night, seems like only a couple of hours ago. Which some of it was for me, watching on I-player. There‘s reports of wild abandoned dancing breaking out all over the country - ‘bout time too. Oh, Adrian - what have you done? Claudia made him commit, woohoo! I succumbed and voted for Robert - just in time. So now we wait and enjoy the cast of Hairspray - You Can’t Stop the Beat. Who else has been dancing round the room all night? To the sounds of ‘Muuuum, get out of the way’ and ‘what are you doing, mum’. They’re doing the ‘outs’ first: Dick and Dom; Denise and Martin; The Bill; Jo Brand. It’s Dirty Dancing V Flashdance. And Robert gets it! We had a good time, they had a good time and the ££££££££s are rolling in. The Great British public do it again; makes you proud, doesn‘t it.

A few observations on Red Nose Day

I’m still stuffed from yesterday at work; two Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, a Maccy D‘s breakfast, sundry fairy cakes and a slab of chocolate heaven. The things I do for charity. Cake baking seems to be the most popular fundraiser at our place, where a man suddenly appeared in the office naked, except for a red thong and cape, and painted red all over. Who he was I’ve no idea, but he didn’t half have a big bulging bucket by the time he left. Patsy Palmer adopting her Bianca persona during the Apprentice (put up job, d’you reckon?) I’ve already blubbed twice and I’m sooo jealous of Davina McCall, the way David Tennant just grabbed her! I’m surprised the ladies in the audience didn’t all start throwing money at him! Mamma Mia fantastic, the malaria films all set me off again. Smithy for England manager, biggest laughs out loud so far. Take That back again with their Chas’n’Dave number ‘Up All Night’. It’s now 4.30pm Saturday afternoon and I’m still working my way through I-player, laughing at everything, cos it‘s gets you like that: Crying at everything else! What more can I say - it’s at over £57 million and I’ve still got Horne and Corden to watch yet. But I think I should do dinner. Back later with the final of Let's Dance.

Let’s Dance For Comic Relief: Week Three

You’ve got to prove you’ve got what it take. In sweat …and dignity! Anton is joined by SCD 3rd placer, Lisa Snowden and comedian Dara O’Briain. And Claudia’s wearing green. Hmm. Angela Rippon - ha ha - I may not grab the mop in the middle of the supermarket but I know how she feels! Yay - go Angela! Big Spender - brilliant, I bet some SCD contestants would love to have had her presence on stage. And credits the backing dancers, nice one. I think Anton’s in love! Dom Jolly - Oh, yes - it’s Hammer Time! U Can’t Touch This - fun fun fun all the way, those pantaloons could win it on their own! Oi - now Dara’s nicking my lines - that’s Philip’s job. Zoe and Suggs. I love Suggs. I never did know what ‘the Pulp Fiction song’ was called - You Never Can Tell. Zoe really looks like Uma. They were excellent, probably too good! Zoe did most of the work, to be fair. Denise and Martin - they’re wheeling out the SCD connections tonight aren’t they! Bollywood’s Shaka Laka Baby - Denise won the dance off and OMG - how are we supposed to choose from this lot? They’re all so good. Fern Britton is Singing in the Rain, with her fear of water, lol. Hey, how’d she get to snog the copper? Cheeky and flirty and great fun. Was it Philip? It wasn’t, was it? The Bill, Lisa and Patrick and how fab is Lisa? I was told at football this morning to watch out for their Riverdance and I’m not disappointed (I wasn’t told the results) Dara will love this. Brilliant! And that’s just the wig!

Well frankly, I’m glad I was out and didn’t have to choose who to vote for! Who made me laugh out loud? Dom. Smile? Fern and Angela. Bob up and down? Zoe and Suggs. Smile and bob? Denise and Martin. Smile, bob and go WOW? The Bill. I guess there’ll be a recreation of Mamma Mia at a wedding or charity event sometime soon! Who’s through? It’s The Bill! The judges again have a tough choice between Fern and Denise/Martin - it’s the Bollywood pair, Anton not needed again.

Don’t forget to DO SOMETHING FUNNY FOR MONEY. I’m resorting to posting song titles individually, otherwise I’ll end up feeling very mean! Come on, help me out!

3BT: DO SOMETHING FUNNY FOR MONEY: SCENES WE'D LIKE TO SEE ...

... the worst records in the world ever:

My Stalker Just Cares For Me

Pimp My Bell

Stairway to Attic

Remember I mentioned this last week? If this post ends up with at least 100 comments, either adding your own song title or commenting on someone else’s, I’ll double my donation to Comic Relief. I’ll re-post this link every few days to keep it near the top as we get closer to Comic Relief night - please send it onto anyone you think might contribute. Thank you!

Let’s Dance For Comic Relief, Week Two

Great opening sequence which I missed last week, with the voice over by the legendary Brian Blessed. Claudia parachuted in, by the look of it …the panel - Anton, of course, Paul O’Grady and Jamelia; down, Steve. First out - Hollyoaks, doing Footloose. They’re excellent of course, not long out of stage school probably. They don’t stand a chance, Jo Brand is going to slaughter them, she is Britney. Ha ha - she’s really getting into the part. Close up of Vic Reeves realising Nancy has no chance. The Dragons -Let’s Face the Music and Dance. And they do, Deborah is elegant and has good timing and Peter and Duncan have a good time, I enjoyed that. Paddy McGuiness (who I’ve heard of) and Keith Lemon (who I haven’t but think I’ve seen somewhere) are doing Time of my Life from Dirty Dancing! This I cannot wait to see - training looks …a bit too good! Robert Webb’s competition just arrived - absolutely brilliant. The Lift! The buzz from the audience at the finale! Blue Peter have to follow - I suppose it would have been unfair to have had Gethin wouldn’t it? A great version of ‘Jailhouse Rock’, terrific slide from Peter Duncan and a real piece of teamwork. Nancy Sorrell teams up with Neil Fox for Candyman. Very slick, full of energy but they’re begging for votes. Tut tut. We don’t like that. We see a snapshot of the team training to climb Kilimanjaro - don’t see many of the girls doing much training - are the boys carrying their bags? The ever-reliable Will Young live and a montage of celebrity well wishers and it had to be …yes, of course, hello Geth! *waves* no I didn’t …well, maybe just a little one. And I’m watching on I-Player so …*rewinds* …*rewinds* …*rewinds*…Priscilla, Queen of the Desert …*rewinds* ..no seriously, Keith and Robert could probably land themselves a part in this. The first Slayer just pitched up in the middle. Results are in! Out: The Dragons, Hollyoaks, Nancy and Neil (told you). My top three are the top three - Paddy and Keith straight through, of course they are. Will the judges go for comedy or dancing? It’s Jo - Anton not needed for a casting vote. Two places remaining - do we have another treat a la Robert/Paddy and Keith still to come - it’s going to be tough on Final night!

Let’s Dance for Comic Relief: Week One

I missed the start so I’m wondering who these men are dancing to what I’m guessing is High School Musical (Matt can’t stand it, so I haven’t had to see it). Full of energy; the younger bloke is really good! Ah - they’re Eastenders! Nice judges - Anton Du Beke, Emma Bunton and Michael McIntyre, who makes me laugh just looking at him and specially with his Bruno impression! Biggins and Nikki Chapman and a very pedestrian ‘You’re The One That I Want’ - as Michael says:” Why dance when you can walk ...to Let’s Walk/Private Walker ...or take part in Strictly Come Walking!” Robert Webb’s doing Flashdance and I’m LOL already: “I’m living the dream of a professional welder” and LOL all the way through - ‘What a Feeling’ …he must have in that leotard. The Chefs - only two of whom look vaguely familiar - could Gordon, Anthony, James etc not be persuaded? They’re recreating ‘Thriller’ and some have really got it going on, others are dreadful. Good overall effect. Les Dennis is John Travolta …’s dad. ‘You Should Be Dancing’, well, he’s having a go and the ending with all the dancers was pretty in sync. Dick and Dom! Oh, goodness, what are they going to do? The Blues Brothers ‘Shake Your Tail Feather’ - cool! Well, I say that now, they haven’t started yet. Actually, it’s pretty good - little Dom particularly. Flashdance and The Blues Brothers get a vote each from me, although if I had to choose just one it would be Robert. The Saturdays Just Can’t Get Enough doing a very passable impression of a female Village People. Now you see, the original of this was an 80s classic that Dancing on Ice could have used! Ooh, Billy Elliott - Electricity. Nah, preferred Robert’s welding. Steve Jones is very similar to Gethin isn’t he? Except a bit taller and less charming. Before the result, can I just say - this is for Comic Relief ok, it’s not a serious dance competition, in case anyone's thinking of complaining if the worst one goes through! Straight through: Robert! Yay! Judges to choose between Dick and Dom and the Eastenders. Anton has casting vote and it’s Dick and Dom - the studio audience are booing; that’s a new experience for Anton! We’re treated to the full length video of ‘(Barry)Islands in the Stream’ before they let the balloons loose.

Now then, in the week leading up to comic relief I’m going to do a ‘Scenes you’d like to see… worst records in the world ever.’ For example - Mouldy Old Dough by the Fabulous Baker Boys, The Beast is Yet to Come or Wake Me Up Before You Poo Poo. Got the idea? I’m telling you this because, pauper though I am, if I can get a hundred comments adding a song of their own (by different people) to that post, I’ll double my donation. So that’ll only take it to £20 but, like they say, every little helps! Thinking caps on people, you have two weeks!