Britain's Got Talent Final

Kicking off the show with Flawless, who were absolutely awesome, so so slick, followed by Shaheen, who I thought sang the best he has and I was thinking: Oh-oh, this is going to be tough! But since I was at a friend's house I wasn't going to be voting anyway and was happy in that the Great British Public generally get it right!

One act who mesmerises me is Aidan - he has a huge future, it's a shame he didn't have longer to prepare for the final. 2Grand are so sweet, I know what Simon's trying to say, not the most talented (although Sally has potential with training), but certainly bring a lump to your throat - it was lovely to see them in the final. Hollie's vocal really doesn't work for me, I'm not one to pigeon hole people but whereas Shaheen is a soul singer and Shaun is a boybandee type, is she destined for shows or a fledging opera singer?

Stavros Flatley are the total fun package, the old man is having an absolute ball! Lord of the Dance and you get more fun when they've finished. Shaun up next, doing 'Ain't No Sunshine again and I'm very impressed that his voice got even stronger at the end of the 'I know' sequence!

Susan I didn't think was as strong as before, probably because hearing her the first time was so unexpected. And having seen 'Beyond the Barricade' since, I prefer their version of the song. She's good but I think Piers and Amanda have lost the plot slightly. Simon's clearly thinking it might not be good enough.

My favourites all along have been Diversity - they have, I tell you - I'm not just saying that now! Read back if you don't believe me! And they gave us something new again, with Superboy and the buzzers, which brought squeals of delight from the whole house and a general: Yep, they should win/I'm voting for them/they're the best etc. Amanda could have lost them a few votes there though, with the comment about Flawless, it brought some boos. But then Piers evened it up. *whispers: Think I'm developing a little bit of a crush on Ashley* Jeez, I'm probably old enough to be his mum, isn't that depressing? Julian played 'Somewhere' again, and stronger than before - and having gone straight through on the public vote in the semi, he can't be discounted.

The moment of truth and they are calling out the final three. Susan Boyle - expected; Julian Smith, probably unexpected. Come on, come on - I swear Aidan just mouthed ... DIVERSITY, oh yes! 3rd Place - I feel quietly confident that'll be Julian and it is. I'm still convinced Susan will win but hoping it'll be Diversity ...and it is! Woooohoooo! Brilliant, totally brilliant, they've been consistent and entertaining and they're a fab bunch. Can't wait to see what they put together for the Queen!

Britain's Got Talent Round Up 2

Assuming I haven't taken up stamp collecting instead, of course - because, frankly, it's not all been a barrel of fun has it? Even the panel admit to beng exhausted: Yeah - you wanna try actual working for a living, bloody prima donnas ...

Last night had a few acts I did enjoy - Julian Smith and his sooo sweet sax gave 'All by Myself' it's self respect back (if the last time you heard it was by Bridget Jones) and the Kent girls Sugar Free have been the best girl dance troupe, they've clearly taken on board the structure of Diversity/Flawless but it was 2Grand that made it through with Julian, with another touching performance - somebody there is pitching on exactly the right songs for these two - if it's their choices *thumbs up*.

But tonight, oh good grief - no competition for Aiden Davis, so cool, and that set with the - I've no idea what the technical term is - the mirror/projected images of him. Simple yet inspired. I'd say the act I enjoyed most apart from him was Dreambears! Poor, brave Hollie was put through but didn't get my vote for being brave I'm afraid - I thought her singing was pretty off. DCD Seniors may have had a chance if they'd left the seen-it-all-before disco dancing alone.

A quick run down then of the finalists - 6.45pm , ITV1 tomorrow, if you haven't bought your tv paper yet:

Susan Boyle; Diversity; Flawless; Sean Smith; Shaheen Jafargholi; Hollie Steele; 2Grand; Julian Smith; Aidan Davis; Stavros Flatley & Son.

Susan appears to be the favourite but if they all perform to their best it could be a lot closer than we think. I'll be looking forward to the dance troupes most, though would love Shaheen and Julian to blow me away with something mega soulful or jazzy.

Britain's Got Talent Semi-Final Round Up

Diversity and Susan Boyle through first night, though Susan showed signs of nerves and vocally, it wasn’t as strong although she picked up at the end. Disappointed in Natalie - seemed to age from around 8 to 13, I’d like to have heard her do another slower R&B song, like Rihanna’s Take a Bow. Likewise Sue Son - should have stuck with the boho chick attitude instead of going for the glam/sexy Vanessa Mai look. As for Darth Jackson - the storm troopers on their own would have been far more entertaining, in fact, a proper themed Star Wars Thriller with decent dancers would have been great. Jamie Pugh was far too nervous and it showed, so Sean Smith and Flawless, who both delivered, went through. Stavros Flatley, although not as strong as the audition, made it through, as did Shaheen, although again, not the best performance - the singers have disappointed so far - my favourite at this stage is Diversity. And you know what - apart from saxophonist Julian Smith, I can’t recall anyone else yet to come! And can someone tell me why the judges buzz the acts they themselves put through? Hel-loo, duh!

And on a different subject, it turns out the Buffy movie I’d heard about won’t be involving Joss Whedon, or any of the regular supporting cast. So it’ll be about a vampire slayer called Buffy - BUT IT WON’T BE BUFFY! I say again: Hel-looo, duh! How to alienate the majority of your projected audience in one fell swoop!

Britain's Got Talent while I've got no internet, grrrrr

I'm round my mum's at the moment - for those of you not following my Twitter updates - because our internet connection has gone AWOL and I just can't face sitting with the phone clamped to my ear over this glorious weekend. And I just realised I've left my notes from last night's show at home!

So relying on my memory - this could be a laugh - why d'you think I'm nicknamed 'Scatty' ...

Thought the girl band - Brit Chix? (Note to Foxy - I'll be expecting you to fill in the blanks, btw!) were very good, brave to go up and do something original. Loved the Little Drummer Boy from Kent (yay!) Keiron - can't believe they didn't put him through to the live shows, especially when you saw some of those that did make it. Love to know how they decide. Hubby and kids cracking up at my outrage, reckon I'm taking it too seriously. Oh, come on, the old bloke Fred - good for his age but really not that good was he?

The belly dancer - certainly the most attractive one this year, can't say I saw an awful lot of her actual belly dancing though, could you? My lot all glued to it, I put an eye mask over Matt, specially with the Girl in Martini glass, what was that all about?

The Ears 'n' Nose man? No, thanks - and have blocked the others out I think - tonight will be interesting, two decent acts will go, out of Sue Son, Diversity, Susan Boyle and Natalie Okri - serve the judges right if Darth Jackson makes it through by right!

Britain's got great young talent

Two that stood out tonight - Aiden Davis, in the George Sampson mode, only different - it was like he was on castors or a conveyour belt or something! Mesmerising.

And little Natalie Okri, so adorable - big voice, will be blistering when she's older. Probably a touch too young at the moment, but well worth her place in the next round.

An honourable mention for the girls from Kent - Sugar Free, and for Two Grand, who, whilst not being the best, albeit competent, singers - had that undefinable quality that grabbed the audience, me included; totally charming. Funny of the night was Faces of Disco - I thought 'naff' to begin with and then couldn't stop laughing!

There's a quote of the night too - from Brenda, back again from last year, who, on being told 'No', quipped to Ant and Dec: "Well, I'll have to go for pole dancing next year!"

Britain’s Got Talent - check me out, posting same night!

Starting with the act that any bloke can do, let’s face it - I live with three Mr. Methanes. Followed closely in awfulness by synchronised dog walking and some odd looking tai chi. The call centre worker singing ‘Hello’? We quickly said goodbye, then hurriedly called him back because anything would be better than the wannabe Nell Gwynn flouting her oranges to tuneless drivel. “People cry when they hear me sing.” She says. “I have the ability to move people.” She’s not wrong - I left the room with tears pouring down my face.Come on - she’s got to be a plant, surely? One buzz, start again. Two buzz, start again. Three buzzes. They always come along in threes don’t they, buzzes, well known fact …

Lewis Taylor, the ventriloquist with a twist - he’s not a ventriloquist. Ho hum. Merlin, the escapologist juggler. Why’d they have to hide him getting out of the chains? Was it because, perchance, a six year old could have slipped them over his shoulders? Now if he’d juggled the fire sticks actually under the water, I’d have been more impressed. Yes to dance act Freedom Movement, street performer Jon Dempsey, the band Schwing and a couple more dance acts, all of whom it would have been nice to see more of. Then we come to Greg Pritchard, a singing waiter and there’s shock at first then hesitant clapping - was that really him? A male soprano - he could dress up and be a fantastic drag act.

Little Thomas, aged 5 - he made the Crazy Frog disappear, works for me. Frankie, 49. In a coat. She’s a belly dancer, I said, any money you like. I really wish I’d been wrong. A costume would have been nice. Then we got some more urgh-no-get’em-off acts and then we got the ooh-way hay-oh, yeah-get’em off whydont'cha-Mr Officer and Gentleman act all we ladies want to see again *phwoar* Ahem. Why oh why didn’t they show more of him? C’mon Amanda - have a word!

The Dream Bears - very funny mickey-take of the can-can: “We’ve danced in front of many queens!” And finally, 17 year old Sean, rugby player, sings ‘Ain’t No Sunshine’, nice voice, needs a bit of polish I think, mates going loopy. So no-one truly outstanding but some show promise.

Britain's Got Talent ...eventually

I wasn't able to see last week's show, hence the lateness of this, but thanks to the lovely people at UnrealityTV, I've had a little catch up.

On the face of it, you'd think I'd like Kenyodse Oresaya but - I close my eyes and it could be someone on tracing paper and comb instead of a saxophone, so, no, not for me, sorry. Finger knitting? NEXT! Keyboard based novelty band? Emerson, Emerson and Emerson. All a joke apparently - I've not seen enough but Simon didn't get it either. Jake Pratt, young comedian - a sex joke at that age? Eeeooww, no, not good. To sing or not to sing, I think there's potential if he had lessons. LOL "The producer told me to sing!" Really couldn't be bothered to watch all of Two Alike ... what was she wearing? Why do parents do that to kids?

But this weeks stars? Jamie Pugh - regardless whether he has/hasn't sung on stage before, the bloke can sing and moved me to tears. And Sue Son, solo and passionate.

Britain’s got a nerve

I’m pretty sure that two of the acts we saw last night were put up jobs - I just had an overwhelming sense of something contrived - they were far too good at being so terribly bad. And why give them all that air time, when there were seemingly so many good acts going through - because they’re actors who were being paid? The woman at the beginning - so much apparently in common with Susan Boyle but oh - listen - shocking contrast, let’s laugh her off. And the drag act at the end, please - no-one who can’t sing would vary their tone in equal measures at equal distances, surely - from high, to low and in between - it’s how we all sound when we’re doing it deliberately. IMHO, obviously - I’m no singer - that’s just how it seemed to me. For one horrible moment I thought Amanda was going to put him through, but no. *Phew* And DJ, Get a Talent! Amanda’s right there - someone will put that out as a single. Where’s me earplugs?

So hands up all those who watched purely to see the knife man impale himself? Ha ha - you bloodthirsty lot!

So why am I still watching, I hear you ask. Don’t I? No? Ok, well anyway, I’m still watching for just those odd moments where we see someone actually, you know - talented. The little ballerina, who, to be fair to Simon, should drop the ballerina bit and concentrate on singing, preferably in just one accent. And the dance acts, for whom it’s a way of life, not just something they’ve shoved together for the show. Diversity were this week’s stars - a cool, creative, funny, focused, terrific act and a credit to their ill-perceived age groups.

Britain’s Got (some) Talent. And some real crud.

Ones to watch: Demetri and Logi, father and son Greek dancers brought the house down with the Stavros Flatley routine - completely different to what we were expecting and hysterically funny. Susan stole that ‘shock’ factor though, you could feel the mix of animosity and pity until she began to sing and completely mesmerised everyone. A real presence - let’s see what hair, make up and wardrobe can do with her. Flawless dance troupe look and talk the bizniz “Chase the dream, not the competition.” Fantastic, my only complaint was the camera man, who kept cutting to the audience/judges/Ant and Dec instead of staying on the dancers. Grrrrr - why?

Honourable mentions: Manjit the strongman - he won’t make it to the final but oh! the suspense in watching him blow up a hot water bottle till it burst! Then he pulled a van by his ear - hope they had the handbrake off - and he’s promising a 747 next time. Surprisingly gripping. Antoinette - Andrew - Allstarz - Good Evans, the Brummie Von Trapps - son Elliott the star. The Dynamite display team

Ones you hope never darken your telly’s doorstep ever again: Drums and Roses, what a racket that was. James and the world record attempt on eating Ferrero Rocher!? The record was seven, he only managed four - Ant did five. I’d have been more impressed had it been crème eggs. Gwyneth the witch, who took us back 35 years to Summertime Special and then cursed us. Only not as much as we were cursing her. Bradley and Jennie, whose sadistic Community Worker needs sacking. Andy, the Gene Kelly fan and “dancer”. Since when was Gene Kelly ever a windmill? And worst of all of them - Fabia the strip teasing ex-disco dancer who they went and said yes to. OMG! There were kids there, for goodness sake! Scarred for life now, I should think. And who would have thought those Union Jacks would have stayed put. The wonders of physics, eh!