Britain’s got a nerve

I’m pretty sure that two of the acts we saw last night were put up jobs - I just had an overwhelming sense of something contrived - they were far too good at being so terribly bad. And why give them all that air time, when there were seemingly so many good acts going through - because they’re actors who were being paid? The woman at the beginning - so much apparently in common with Susan Boyle but oh - listen - shocking contrast, let’s laugh her off. And the drag act at the end, please - no-one who can’t sing would vary their tone in equal measures at equal distances, surely - from high, to low and in between - it’s how we all sound when we’re doing it deliberately. IMHO, obviously - I’m no singer - that’s just how it seemed to me. For one horrible moment I thought Amanda was going to put him through, but no. *Phew* And DJ, Get a Talent! Amanda’s right there - someone will put that out as a single. Where’s me earplugs?

So hands up all those who watched purely to see the knife man impale himself? Ha ha - you bloodthirsty lot!

So why am I still watching, I hear you ask. Don’t I? No? Ok, well anyway, I’m still watching for just those odd moments where we see someone actually, you know - talented. The little ballerina, who, to be fair to Simon, should drop the ballerina bit and concentrate on singing, preferably in just one accent. And the dance acts, for whom it’s a way of life, not just something they’ve shoved together for the show. Diversity were this week’s stars - a cool, creative, funny, focused, terrific act and a credit to their ill-perceived age groups.

Britain really has got talent

I’m not even going to mention the rest of the garbage they showed on this show Saturday night - frankly, the stroppy bleeder of a girl at the beginning, the atrociously bad dancing Darth Jackson and the god-awful drag queen belly dancer just didn’t deserve to grace the same stage as these two.

Music teacher Julian Smith played West Side Story’s ‘Somewhere’ on his soprano saxophone; beautiful is an understatement, it was goosebump central. (And if you’ve been reading my blog a while you’ll know I’m quite partial to the saxophone!) And then we witnessed Shaheen Jafargholi stun the audience, but not with ‘Valerie’, which was sounding pretty ordinary - Simon, to his credit, stopped him and asked what else he could sing. The answer was Michael Jackson’s Who’s Loving You - Shaheen just launched into it, seemingly unfazed. Two fantastic, soulful, powerful performances to rival Susan Boyle.

It’s fun to laugh at the arrogant, awful acts, but give me a show full of Julians and Shaheens any day.