Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Second Time Around

The scriptwriting course that was cancelled last year started again today - with two more students, but none of the other three that were on it last year. We need eight, we’ve only got six - if anyone is around Maidstone between 1pm and 3pm on a Tuesday afternoon, come on down!

So now I have homework from a course that may not continue, grr! Anyone seen Taxi Driver? Wow, what a show of hands - I know, I should be ashamed of myself - it’s on my must-see list now. I watched the first five minutes today and have to write the first page of the script myself! And also read a play before next week AND write a short piece about conflict during a meal - at least I won’t struggle with the subject matter on that one! Tutor Sharon didn’t say it couldn’t be a meal involving chocolate …I’m thinking, lots of gateau, pan across to the Ripple stock - OI YOU! - Step away from the chocolate, it’s mine, kind of thing. I had to leave dead on 3pm for the school run, Marilyn just emailed to say the theme for the short piece is the Seven Deadly Sins -'Greed' anyone?

Sunday, 28 September 2008

The Results Show: SCD Week Two

I’m all nervous and I don’t know why, I haven’t got a favourite as such, so why am I needing the loo suddenly? Ooh, love Tess’s hair - what did they do? I’d be hitching that dress up a bit though, if it were me. Oh, dear, Brendan - give the girl a hug!

Adrian’s in love - watch yourself Christine! Backroom judgments - was it worth it, one comment from Len? See …see …fascination with fruit - what did I tell you? Bruce just asked: “What did you think of our girls tonight!” It’s not live, OMG!!! The three new pro’s looking good in training - my 17 year old, Brad, just called Brian a lucky g*t. Still not too old for a slap, boy, cut the language. That was different and a lotta fun!

The Halfpenny! The Jive! We’d not seen the like before; doubt we’ll see it again. What a partnership, superb, like they hadn‘t been apart. She was my favourite! The Pro’s Tango - Beat It. And suddenly, Brad wants to chat about dancing. What’s that they’re doing? Who’s She? He’s knew, isn’t he? (Not that I’ve forced him to watch before, you understand) Tango - Erin - Yes. Now Be Quiet.

Hark at John ‘Mr Flirty’ Sargeant!!! The Merenge again? I’m not complaining *filthy hips filthy hips* Apart from the purple effort, love the outfits Camilla’s worn so far. The Sugababes - the Pro’s Cha Cha - where’d they go? Oh, here they come - Ola a blur - Men in black roll necks mmmmm, don’t know what it is ….

And they’re on the steps: Rachel - safe; Jessie - safe; Heather, Cherie, Christine - all safe *sigh of relief*. Last safe couple - Lisa!!! Jodie and Gillian to dance off, tough call. Great kicks from Jodie, a better performance this time and the judges agreed, no need for Len’s casting vote.

Anton and Gillian close to tears - I blame wardrobe - subliminal picture association - tea towel - kitchen - kettle - making tea instead of voting. Strangely, I’m welling up, even in these trousers.

Running Commentary: SCD Week Two

Altogether now: Oh yes, it’s Ladies Night and the feelings right - see what I did there? What’s the fascination with fruit tonight? The percussionist has half a grapefruit shell on his stand - and then there’s Gillian’s dress! There was something else but it’s gone …crashing on:

Pocket dynamite Darren played to Jessie’s strengths but her salsa lacked the free spirit and was a bit stilted, although she looked like she had the time of her life. Fair comment from Len, nicely put. Craig: “Energy was very good.” Arlene: “Dress and smile working overtime.” Bruno: “I know there’s a wild child there, next time you do Latin, Let It Out!” Judges Score 20, will be in danger. Darren quipped: “Well, we’re top, anyway!” LOL

Christine and Matthew, so very sweet and the song - The Way You Look Tonight, sung by the gorgeous Matthew to Christine all the way through *sighs* how did she stay upright? The dance, the dress, the song - all gorgeous. “Grace and elegance” said Len; “Light ethereal quality” (Bruno) “I was stunned” (Arlene) Judges score 27, should be safe.

Lisa and Brendan did their salsa to ‘The Rhythm is Gonna Get You’ and unfortunately, as Arlene said, it didn’t really. Great spins, but again, lacking in free spirit, Lisa’s nervousness translated itself onto the dance floor more than the others I think. Arlene: “Very English Rose, get down and dirty." Len: “Spins were fantastic.” Craig: “Natural rhythm but a little cool.” Bruno: “Had everything except the juice, we want to party with you.” Judges score: 22 On dodgy ground. The BB’s will go into overdrive when those phone lines open.

Jodie and Ian made a lovely entry into their Foxtrot, but she keeps forgetting to smile, looks very tense, but - she’s doing alright! Very elegant, great timing - the punctuation Craig called it. Arlene said: “A gorgeous surprise.” Len “Tall girls can dance.” Even Tess looks tiny, stood next to these two! Judges score 25. In the danger zone - middle of the table.

Heather and Brian - I like that her family wouldn’t speak to her if she didn’t participate :) Mine would disown me if I did :( Hey, lovin’ the attitude already! Oh, yes! Great music - would be nice if the Beeb board listed it all like last year *HINT* Wonderful movement, this is more like it - best salsa so far. “That’s the spirit” says Bruno. Arlene: “Movin’ on up!” Didn’t see that one coming. Not. Len: “Queen of the Salsa”. Judges score 26, top half of the table so far but it’s no guarantee so I’ll sling a vote her way.

Gillian and Anton, Foxtrotting to RazzleDazzle ‘em - her timing was excellent I thought - the punctuation, I think Craig said? And then “ Bit rough …not a complete disaster.” Len: “Great musicality, beautiful footwork.” Arlene: “Melt in his arms and it will all happen for you.” Judges score 22, will it be another Eastender going? Note to wardrobe: Do you shop at TJ Hughes too? Only, I’ve got a set of tea towels like that.

Cute couple Rachel and Vincent, as expected, gave a polished Salsa performance, honed almost to perfection and danced to the Cuban Beatles version of ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’. Loved that you could see the anticipation in Rachel’s face just before the music lifted off. Am I alone in not liking that leg thingy bit? Just didn’t think it looked ‘pretty’ but it didn’t detract overall. Lovely and smiley and excellent musicality. Arlene: “Absolutely enthralled.” Len: “Fantastic.” Craig: “Ama-zing!” Bruno: “Rrrrrraaachel!” Judges score: 31, safe.

Cherie and James took to the stage like a Royal Couple! ! I wasn’t sure about the choice of ‘Sweet About Me’ but it worked, very jaunty - a contemporary oldie. Being that nervous but able to project so much confidence is a great skill for this show. Classy, smooth, wonderful choreography - I’m no expert and even I can see it’s technically fantastic, the control as they swept around the floor was amazing, the 'hesitation' is that what it‘s called? Judges score: 33, safe. Len: “Best dance of the night!” Craig: “One Class Act. Fabulous.” Bruno: “That’s a leading lady!” Cherie: “I’ve got no saliva!” The down to earth Queen!

My votes? Cherie, Christine and Heather.

The boys Merenge, to give it its proper name (although Bruce referred to it as a meringue, as do I normally!) And goodness me, you can’t move for all the hips thrusting around in training! And LOL to them trying to high five Mark! On the sofa and Tess quips: “Was it buy one get six free?” re the shirts, since they actually match this week, although Bruce’s a) ill judged quip or b) he’s old school, it’s ok or c) don’t be so sensitive - depending on your viewpoint - ‘Nancy’ line may have referred to said shirts, since they seem to be colour coded for each of the boys …anyway, the dance was terrific! Most improved for me was Gary - having a ball - in time! Austin looks the complete package, loved that he’s singing all the way through! And Tom's Filthy Hips!*Phew* Need I go on? *THUD*

Overall no-one was bad and no-one got ripped apart by the judges, so no sympathy votes. I’d say the leader board is about right. I genuinely do feel sorry for Len, it’s going to be a tough dance off.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Sportnight, the things they say

Squash 24 Year old Briton Peter Barker won the Chicago Open, beating Australian favourite and ex-world number one David Palmer.

8 year old Matt, on being told he needs to eat more breakfast before his football match.

“Just cos you’re an adult and you want to survive!”

*Looks perplexed, shrugs shoulders, then worries a bit*

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Not on the Wrong Blog!

No, this really isn't on the wrong blog - I was so tempted, but you know how it is with copyright and what have you. Maybe I'll do a follow up on The Daily Scatter, but for now, just enjoy this story as it is:


Monday, 22 September 2008

3bt: It Takes Two - Laughing out loud, warm and fuzzy feeling,

"It’s great to have her back!” So says Voice Over Man, amongst other soundbites that made me chuckle.

James and Austin’s comments re the ironing and housework; Claudia and Alesha and the tug-of-war over the Glitter Ball; Caption Man, at it again - Craig: He doesn’t mince his words; Arlene: Come on Arlene!

Loving the production staff clapping along - and Arlene, saying that Austin’s waltz was almost like Gethin’s! And that two message boarders got a mention - go vampadvocate and liliarocks! Looks like Claudia isn’t bothering to slip the names in subtly - s
he’s quoting!

Sunday, 21 September 2008

Running Commentary: SCD Week One

Tess looks trim, no tin foil in sight! Brucie doing political satire - it’ll never catch on. Sue Barker and Adrian Chiles both in the audience - next year, out there on the floor please, Auntie!

First up then, Tom and Camilla - looking gorgeous - both of them - the colours suit Cam. Great Cha Cha song choice ‘Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide’ - you’re not kidding, first up and high expectations because of ‘Tap Dances with Drums’. No, not a Native American contestant but this and because he’s Fit! Came across very sane and normal in training and he’s making Cam happy! Missed the first step in the Cuban Break, but waited and was ready for the second. Liking that he didn’t panic and cock it up completely. Great dance, fun to watch. Bruno says he was a Tom Cat and there would be kittens purring; Craig said he was smug and his walks were mincey - well, he should know I guess. Even Brucie gave Craig some stick after that remark. Arlene, as expected, was very taken with the hip action! Judges score: 28 - Could be middle of the board - always a concern.

Phil and Flavia waltzing to a Whitney song ‘I Have Nothing’ - lovely song but possibly not the most positive message to send. Some lovely choreography again courtesy of Flavia but I dunno - she looked a bit dead behind the eyes to me, the dazzling smile never quite made it up there. Phil looked like he was sucking a cough drop all the way through. The giggling in the training room didn’t make it on to the dance floor, there didn’t seem to be much connection. I found it uncomfortable to watch. Bruno reckons Phil was holding his breath all through it, then he made me laugh out loud by doing an impression of Len calling out his score. Judges score: 20. Could be in trouble.

Lilia and Don get down and funky for a Cha Cha to ‘Let’s Groove Tonight’, another good song choice. Couldn’t you just drown in Don’s voice? Lilia wants him to ‘stop thinking!’ Training looks to be going smoothly. Yay - he’s got rhythm. Not always in the right place mind, but it’s there. I really enjoyed this and so did they. Craig scored a ’3’ - cue the boos. Judges score: 19 - but that’s what Lilia got with Darren Gough first week so fingers crossed.

Erin and Anton, sorry, Austin - that’s going to keep happening, I know it is. I think I may have done it on the message boards already. They look like Fun, Erin looks Fab. Miss Whiplash meets the Leicester Lip - and they’re getting on great. Beautiful dance, beautiful song I didn’t know but am reliably informed it’s ‘Rainbow Connection’ by Kermit the Frog! Very, very together. Len said it’s the best first dance for a man he’s ever seen. Bruno said Arlene’s bosom was going up and down - shouldn’t he be watching the dancers feet or something? Call me old-fashioned an’ all. Austin said Len was very good-looking and got a 9 from him! Judges score: 32 - I would say they’re safe, even if in the dance off (unlikely).

Hayley and Mark dancing the ‘Tennessee’ waltz, they make a lovely couple, down to earth. Didn’t set the floor alight, but pretty nervous I think. And tall, which makes it harder, according to Len. Bruce told Hayley he liked her butter (she’s from New Zealand) I don’t think the audience got it. Bruno told Mark he looks like a God, now he’ll have to dance like one. Craig, being Craig, told us the dance was D-U-double L. Dull. But he’s a miserable g*t, we’ll just ignore him. Mark then told us that if he makes the final he’ll wear his swimming trunks. So then Tess told us: “Ladies, when the phone lines open, you know what to do!” Judges score:22 They’ll be ok, too many of us wanting to see Mark in a slash to the waist Latin shirt. And swimming trunks.

Karen and Gary - I’m not going to mention the crunchies. Dammit, I just did. Local boy, but I’m not really warming to him. Appears to be driving Karen mad in training, too much of a perfectionist. Dreadful, dreadful song choice for their Cha Cha - ‘Hippy Hippy Shake’ - far too quick, surely. Gary struggling to keep up with Karen. And what was that bit with Karen bent over all about? Very strange. He did go for it though, to be fair. Bruno said he was like the Mad Chef from the Muppet Show, Craig said “I don’t want to be vile…” but why change the habit of a lifetime? Good partnership though, IF (note: big IF) they get through there’s a lot of work to be done. Judges score: 17 Nuff said.

Kristina and John dancing the waltz to the lovely ‘Come Away with Me’ and didn’t we all do just that - has there ever been a sweeter, more charming man on SCD? (Apart from Gethin, of course).That little giggle, they’re so lovely together, Kristina seems really nurturing. John was so into the dance, felt every note with his soul. Bruno said it was like watching Winnie the Pooh and Tigger in a good way . Even Craig was charmed. Len said: “Sometimes, a whisper conveys more than a shout.” Possibly the wisest thing I’ve ever heard Len say. And John promised NOT to wear his swimsuit if he reached the final. LOL! Judges score: 22 - I think J&K will have won a lot of hearts though, so I’m sticking my neck out and saying they’ll make it through.

Andrew and Ola chose ‘Mercy’ for their Cha Cha, maybe it was aimed at the judges! Great song choice and Andrew has rhythm! A GMTV presenter with rhythm! Bit stiff, but there is potential and they seem to have gelled. Debating point: Was it a lift? Nobody said anything, I think Andrew was just a little too enthusiastic when swinging Ola around and I can’t see Ola wanting to jeopardise their chances in the first round by losing marks. Judges score: 23 Not safe by any means. And what the hell was Ola wearing? I guess the male voters will like it. But not the most flattering costume I‘ve seen her in.

The Ladies Group Dance: In training Jessie feels like crying *bye* I can’t stand the weepy ones. Jodie looks like she has four legs. Christine is excited, which beats her being pessimistic. The dance is Cha Cha based with ‘Lady Marmalade’ being wheeled out so they could all be sexy. Hm, tried a bit too hard - I felt the dance was bitty and messier than the boys meringue last year. Cherie had a bit of a stumble but recovered her poise; Christine not very elegant but going for it; Jessie and Gillian looked like Burlesque artists - they’ve gone with Kat Slater’s wardrobe - and Anton nearly pulled Gillian’s arm off when she went wrong; Jodie was ungainly and looked like she really couldn’t be asked; Heather was gettin’ a groove on, funky; Rachel looked nice, just, uh, well nice and Lisa look liked she was trying not to get too sweaty. I wasn‘t impressed.

All in all - the boys showed the girls the way tonight - and the idea that this was a stronger line up than last year? Nope, can‘t see it - yet. The main thing is - IT’S BACK! *Note to family: Run for cover - get your own meals - I’m busy for the next three months - if you don’t like it, b****r off.

The Results Show
So, in the main show, Craig was horrible and undermarked, Len was back to being kindly old uncle Len and overmarked. Thought Bruno and Arlene were quite well behaved and consistent in their scoring - perhaps someone had a word for this series. A few stupid comments but not so much of the savagery, so hopefully no sympathy votes in the results tonight. And straightaway we’re treated to Dom saying Don would need a taxi - what does he know, bit of the green eyed monster there, is it, that Lilia is getting on with Don better? Definitely an awkwardness with Phil and Flavia; John and Kristina just put a smile on my face again; Sue Barker and Stephanie Beacham both enamoured of Mark! Adrian Chiles wondered how Andrew could keep his mind on the dance, my seventeen year old reckons Ola’s outfit was ‘nice’, it was more the way he said it that worried me. Hm, he’s clubbing regularly too now and learning to drive. Seems like only yesterday I was wiping his bum. Austin’s face at Len saying “Erin gets men!” made me chuckle, as did Bruno and Bruce’s ankle/uncle business. Craig reckons he gave Gary the ‘1’ for turning up. The judges were actually on good form, a return to the less shouty, aggressive days.

Mattesha! Coming at cha … cha - stunning! The return of Mutley, you gotta love Alesha! A fabulous pro foxtrot, very classy. The group dance, 16 couples on the floor at once, half with a quickstep, half with a jive of sorts, on the whole, not a good idea. I just hope they had lifejackets standing by. Watching the training was better, especially Ola’s face (noted by Erin) when James and Andrew came back after a game of tennis!

Claudia’s new hair - and a masterclass where she’s going to concentrate? Nooooooo - be ditzy, it’s much more fun! Bette Midler singing ‘Wind Beneath My Wings” once they got past the awful staged ‘joke’ section; James and Ola accompany with a rumba containing a couple of immense lifts.

In the quick clips of how they men are doing, Phil is the only one who doesn’t seem too worried whether he goes or not - surprising attitude. They’re under the spotlights; Karen and Kristina look tearful. Austin/Erin - safe; Mark/Hayley - safe; Tom/Camilla - safe; Lilia and Ola looking worried; Andrew/Ola - safe; Gary/Karen - safe; John/Kristina - safe, biggest cheer. So it’s Phil and Don to dance off. Flav already looks like she’s about to cry. Flavia and Phil - Why can’t he look at her? It’s like he can’t wait to get away. Poor Flavia. Lilia and Don - You see, now he can't take his eyes off her. No contest. Don made mistakes but he wants to be there. Craig and Arlene went for Phil, Bruno for Don and with Len’s casting vote, Don stays in the competition. The popular choice in the audience. Both Phil and Flavia have brightened up now it’s over, can’t help but get a sense of relief from them.

Oh, well, that’s it all over for less than 24 hours! ITT 6.30pm BBC2 all week, we’re back to do it all again at 6.45 pm next Saturday night. Who’ll be the first lady out?

Saturday, 20 September 2008


Another fine new series from the Beeb, taking the Dr.Who/Robin Hood slot. Drawing on our tales of myth and folklore, Merlin looks very promising, I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode. With a dragon at its heart, the tale has been twisted away from the usual telling, has a stellar cast including Richard Wilson and Anthony Head, and already the characters and premise have drawn me in.

I'm just glad I'd written my take on the story before I saw this! (Arthur's Destiny on 30th June and on The Daily Scatter 'Fights on the Pound Table' - I'd be conflicted as to which variant to use!

Friday, 19 September 2008

Challenge - write a story involving a mermaid, a paraplegic gymnast and a traffic warden

The Rescuers

Colin, lulled by the gentle slap-slap of the water against the pedalo, savoured the peace and quiet away from grimy streets stalking abusive drivers. The thud-thud of water soothed him. What an inspired decision to hit the beach before the screaming kids and nagging parents! He sighed contentedly, rocking and sliding around the seat the more relaxed he felt. Laughing as a spray of foam tickled his back, he turned towards the horizon. The beautiful blue haze he expected however, was a fifteen-foot wall of grey-green. He found himself flying through the air and was suddenly very wet.

Simon swam powerfully for the sandy cove in the near distance, arms pulling majestically, shoulders aching with the effort of dragging the still-toned gymnast's body. He wondered about his gear, was it still on the jetty? The area was famous for its surf, but he figured that huge wave wasn't entirely normal. While he was up for a challenging swim, this was unexpected. He made it to the beach, thinking he wouldn't wait long before families arrived - it was the middle of August, after all.

There was a yell behind him.


He rolled to avoid the white blur that sailed past, trailing a weedy looking man whimpering and flailing miserably, who dropped onto the sand next to him. They grinned sheepishly at one another, then were startled to hear someone say, lazily, but somehow quite stroppily:

“Excuse me!”.

They were shocked to discover the body of a young woman nearby, who appeared to have lost both legs. Colin puked. Simon, after dragging himself to her, stared in amazement.

"She hasn't lost them - look!"

Colin chanced a peek. No legs, just a long, iridescent fishtail. On it, a nasty gash, in which a kitchen-knife sized piece of white plastic was embedded.

"Had a good look?" she enquired.

"You're a .. .a..." stammered Colin. Simon's eyes travelled upwards, taking advantage of the opportunity. The mermaid looked perplexed, as though staring humans were an occupational hazard.

"Yes, yes, I know. I'm beached. So do me a favour; get that thing out of me and stick me back in, will you. I've got land-sickness kicking in big time."

"INCOMING!" yelled Simon, ducking, as another piece of pedalo pitched up on their cove.

"Ditto!" called the mermaid sarcastically, as a wheelchair cart wheeled past, disappearing behind a ridge.

“Cool!” Simon turned towards it. "Fancy that landing here!" Then he wondered how he'd wheel along a soft, sandy beach and decided to save his energy.

Colin was still staring at the mermaid.

She stared back in exasperation. “And I'm starting to dry out! Can you splash some water on me, please, before I'm smoked?"

Simon thought longingly of the kippers he'd had for breakfast. Focusing on her tail for a change, he licked his lips. Then remembered his manners, holding out his hand:
"Hi, I'm Simon."


"Colin. You need to get back in, you say?" Colin plonked himself next to Eleri, gazing into her perfect lilac eyes with great effort.

"Der! The Coastguard’ll be along soon and if I'm caught I'll end up in some bloody laboratory being dissected. You wouldn't want that, would you?"

Colin and Simon concurred; no, no, they certainly wouldn't want that. If she's going to be cut up, thought Simon, let it be here, after I've built a fire. And it struck Colin that here was a woman who, after he'd made dinner, couldn't make some excuse and bugger off.

"Can't you roll towards the water?" he suggested tentatively. She was a lot bolshier than he’d imagined mermaids to be.

Eleri gave a sarky smile, pointing at the plastic wedged into her scales. "It acted as a brake."

"Allow me." Simon grasped the plastic and yanked. Eleri screamed. Colin fainted. Simon, mortified, tried pushing it back in.

"OWWW. You dozy g…no, chuck it away. Hell, that hurt."

When Eleri calmed down, Colin woke up and Simon apologised for the fourteenth time, the two men gave the mermaid a decent shove to start her rolling.. .however, not being experts in the laws of physics, they hadn't allowed for the difference in circumference between tail and body. Consequently, she rolled in a circle right back to where she started from.

Colin wandered off. Maybe he could find a kind fisherman, who knew mermaids existed and could pick her up. He'd tried: Mermaids were heavier than they looked. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the family friendly, commercial beach he’d started out from. Standing at the top of the sand dune he realised it was a small island, desolate and rocky apart from their one, tiny oasis.

Simon could have picked Eleri up easily, just not taken her anywhere. He noticed she was rubbing her back.

"Backache?" he asked, sympathetically.

"It's lying down for too long, the tail goes into spasm."

"You know what's good for backache..." Simon scanned the beach. Eleri followed his glance, taking in Colin’s path of exploration.

"Yeah, sex. However..."

They stared wistfully at their respective bottom halves before Simon said:

"Ibuleve. There's some in my bag but I can’t see it anywhere."

Colin trudged on through the sand, spotting the wheelchair upended against a dune. Habits being exactly that, he felt in a non-existent breast pocket for his ticket pad and pen, before remembering where he was. Grasping the wheelchair, he pushed it back to the others, an idea forming. He collected the broken bits of pedalo as he went. Then:

"Damn! COASTGUARD!" Colin threw the pedalo's remains at Simon. "Break those into long thin pieces." He put two bits on the sand to one side of Eleri and balanced the wheels of the chair on them. "Pull yourself up and swivel, brake's on."

Colin arranged the rest of the pedalo’s pieces in line with the first two; they stopped five metres short of the water.

"Not a problem. Push it, Si."

Simon looked dubious but could see orange lifejackets coming closer. The wheelchair rolled along the plastic rails and, as it cleared the first two sections, Colin picked them up, legged it down the beach and placed them at the end. He positioned another section down as Eleri arrived. She met his hand in a high five by way of a 'Thank You', before the chair tipped and she catapulted into the water. Colin and Simon shared an elated “Yes”, both punching the air.

It was a shame, really, that the coastguard hadn't actually seen them.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

3bt: Three Blogger Things

It's supposed to be anonymous, but what the hell! Published and be damned ...

Strictly Come Dancing 17/9/08

Sporting Greatness 10/9/08

Kwik Cricket Fun Day 16/7/08

I'm chuffed to have been Medway Blogger three times, the Editor is very encouraging (so I'm working on a fourth. And a fifth). To view the articles, click over the page number at the top and enter page 13, or 14 for the SCD one.

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

3bt: Three things I didn't know before I went to the pub tonight

The egg came before the chicken. Apparently, what laid the egg was probably more reptile than chicken, whereas the egg was probably more chicken and, well, you don't need to be Darwin!

Socrates killed himself by pouring hemlock in his ear (not the Brazilian footballer).

The alternate ending of Will Smith's 'I Am Legend' was much better. But I should probably watch the whole film to make a proper informed judgement.

Sunday, 14 September 2008

3bt: Proms, Strictly, saying goodbye

I managed to spot some GG’s on the box last night, when the cameras swept briefly across the Singleton Park crowd, I’ve the whole programme to watch yet. Some of the GG’s were also interviewed by BBC Radio Wales for their highlights show and of course, were greeted with customary warmth and kisses from the Lord God Geth! The park keeper probably had to scrape them up off the ground this morning!

I’m awaiting full reports, but am reliably informed that the Shearer shirt Geth swapped for his own at the end of Soccer Aid, is now hanging in his gym - I did offer (via text to one of the GG’s) to swap it for a collection of authentic Caister soul weekender tee-shirts, but surprisingly there were no takers!

All reports so far, without exception, not just from the GG’s, are that Geth did a fantastic job and the BBC would be hard pushed to find a better presenter for SCD once Brucie retires. Start emailing now!

Also, on the box - the preview show for Strictly Come Dancing! My first impressions were reinforced - some partnerships I’m now looking forward to eagerly - Mark
(the girls in wardrobe aren’t daft, are they!) and Hayley, Austin and Erin,(she looked gorgeous - and don't think I've seen her giggle with anyone like that before) Tom and Cam, Cherie (who says she dances at every opportunity, I can identify with that!) and James.Wish Christine would be more confident, the pessimistic approach will put me right off if she carries on like that! And don't see any chemistry between Flavia and Vincent and their respective partners, thought Flavia looked a little embarrassed actually, like she really was dancing with her boyfriend's Dad! Most of the others I think will grow on me, and a couple aren’t making an impression at all - so far; I hope it was just bad editing. The only one that I really don’t warm to is Lisa - funny isn’t it, how Brendan has the one who, to me, like Kelly last year, just doesn’t seem genuine and warm but gives me the impression she’s ‘acting up’ for the cameras. In fact, you’d think she was related what with the false little girlie giggles. And I see a lot of talk about how Brendan has the hottie who can dance, as opposed to ‘poor old’ Anton, who has the ‘old’ girl who presumably can’t. Well, I’ll stick my neck out - Gillian is a Strictly fan, so I’m betting her performances will have a whole lot more fun and warmth in them than Lisa’s will and I won’t be surprised to see G&A outlast B&L!

The reason I couldn’t see any of this live last night was because I was saying ‘Bon Voyage’ to friends who are leaving for America, for the next two years, if not for good. And whilst we can all keep in touch and there’s every chance we’ll take a trip out to see them, it’s still a wrench. Good people, lovely family - Matt needed many soothing, positive words to come to terms with little friend Josh leaving, but cheered up a bit when email addresses were exchanged - and then started planning the trip!

Friday, 12 September 2008

Double Take!!

Phil Collins, walking out on the Pub Landlord's set - is he the spitting image of Alf Garnet or what?! You look at him from a distance (those of you old enough to know who Alf was!)

The drumming was pretty awesome!

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Softie heavy metal fans

This is an interesting news item, linking musical taste to personality for the first time.

It doesn’t actually make any reference to chocoholic tea drinkers who like to boogie whilst reading Harry Potter and cheering on cyclists. It didn’t mention soul music either, so I’ll make the assumption for them!

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

3bt: Animal Kingdom

Snake on a plane
Fact echoing fiction…

we don’t need to go abroad for those sorts of stories though ...I'm concerned re the phrase ‘putting it down’ - that’s what you do to big, fierce wild animals isn’t it? What, they really couldn’t have crushed it in some tissue or under their shoe? (Not that I’m bloodthirsty) How many more are there in Kent, that’s what’s worrying me?

As if losing their habitat and being close to extinction isn’t bad enough, our furry friends now have this

Monday, 8 September 2008


The Brits seem to be carrying on this weekend where we left off in Beijing - Andy Murray through to the US Open, first one in 70 odd years. That was at the time of starting to write this post about 4 hours ago - at time of posting he was one game away from defeat, although, he's just broken back! Lewis Hamilton did win the Belgian Grand Prix, but the Ferrari fans amongst the Powers That Be found some lame excuse to demote him. How can you say Raikonen is at a disadvantage when he went back in front …twice?

Socceraid drew a massive audience of GG’s, it appears I was the only English one with any understanding of the word ‘Patriotism’ … but then I was a Shearer fan before I became a Geth fan, so in matters of footie, sorry Geth - no contest! I’ll swap you a pair of GG pyjamas for Shearer's shirt, by the way - I’ll even make sure there’s no GG left inside them, can’t say fairer than that!

The Paralympics are under way and we’ve already won 7 Golds, 5 silvers and 3 bronzes, lying 3rd in the medal table to, surprise, surprise, China and the US, both on 8 golds each. The Roll of Honour is updated!

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Eurovision Dance Contest - a few observations

The opening sequences of two dancers in dayglo silhouettes - Ian and Camilla, unless I’m very much mistaken! Claudia’s dress - what was that all about? Loved the Austrian guy, at 6ft 7ins, he did ruddy well I thought, and the best in the group dance. I’m sure us Brits would keep him in SCD for a good few weeks, the clip of him all dishevelled on the bar stool and then falling off - classic! Did we have to listen to Craig and Len? I’d have turned the sound off, but …The Danish entry, loved this - they actually did something traditional to the Danes. I hadn’t realised I’d need a degree in Maths re the scoring, so I was thinking: 12 out of 10? Crikey, they were good. Nice to see Lisa Kudrow from ‘Friends’ with gainful employment for Azerbaijan … *note to self: remember a bucket for next time* The Irish Latin could have been so good (works for me!) but for that shocking music, if that’s what you can call it. And a bit of R’n’R for Andy Hodge, our stroke man from our gold medal winning four, representing The Netherlands. Stick to rowing, mate. Lithuania the best for me so far, traditional, artistic, original, she looks like a pro, OMG, just agreed with Len. Where’s that bucket? Louisa wearing the best costume I’ve seen her in - finally had the sense to cover up those love handles, Len and Craig being a tiny bit biased methinks, she wasn‘t as clean and tidy as others. Loved loved loved Poland, technical but fun, familiar music by Jacko was never going to hurt, was it? No surprises then - the Scandinavians voted for each other, the former Soviet states voted for each other. I love Graham normally, but I wish he’d stop talking over the other presenters trying to give their scores - in trying to hurry them up, it takes longer. Have to say, starting the board with the top one on 48 pts and the bottom four on nil seems a bit bizarre. Why didn’t they just add onto the original judges scores? The judges placed us equal 8th, we finished 9th so …roll on the proper dance show!

Saturday, 6 September 2008

3bt: grown up boys, growing up boys, tortoises

We (myself and Aron’s nan) are waiting for the boys at home time, ten minutes pass, the playground’s emptying fast and there’s no sign of Matt or Aron anywhere. So we take a wander around the corner and there they are, sat opposite each other on a picnic bench, looking just like the elderly men you see in films set in New York, playing chess. Except the earnest game they’re engaged in is ‘Go Goes’!

Using the pc in the café area in work, the last item that had been googled was: constipated tortoise :)

Brad - a teenager remember - saying; “You were right, mum.” It’s a good job I was sitting down! (In the car at 8.30am this morning, after he begged me for a lift - he was supposed to start work at 6am.) I’d told him he’d never make it after being out clubbing till 3am!

Thursday, 4 September 2008

Oh, what's their name? You know ...thingy ...

You know how you see someone and you think, now where do I know them from? I took Brad to the hospital today - he stubbed his toe and it wasn’t healing, so we thought it might be broken (they don’t even bother to x-ray toes, just strap’em up) anyway, he kept seeing people he thought he knew. One of whom was the friend of a friend’s brother, who, I’m glad to say, didn’t recognise Brad, since he was handcuffed to a policeman!

It reminded me of a shopping trip shortly after I’d passed my driving test. East Ham, up there in the good ol’ East End, had a market I frequented quite often; parking was a nightmare. So there I am in a backstreet, patiently backing and forwarding into a teensy space, outside the house of a girl my age, who’s alternately laughing at my efforts or guiding me. She applauded when I finally made it.

So next week, I’m wandering through the market again and three girls are walking towards me and as we meet, both me and one of them go: “Oh, hiya! How ya doin’? You alright? Yeah. See ya then.” And then we wander away going: Who’s that?

I’ll take it as read you’ve guessed who she was!

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

3bt: The Office Summer Ball

The office 'Summer Ball' incorporating a talent contest took place over the weekend - when I say 'the office' of course, I mean the whole building, plus another site so probably about 500 of us in total. The location was great - I shan't name them though, as it may well be that it was outside caterers that were responsible for the shocking, and I mean worse than anything I've ever served up, slop that was "presented" as dinner. Orange dishwater soup, limp rocket salad, old boot lamb, cold and grey vegetables. Yeeeuggghhh. The ice cream wasn't too bad but didn't get a sniff at any coffee and mints. Amateurs.

The lookalikes the company brought in were great though, Marilyn Monroe was so into character and the lovely young Elvis sounded the part too, he mingled with his guitar and my little group were serenaded with 'Teddy Bear', 'Love Me Tender' and 'Wooden Heart' (with us on backing vocals!) The Brad Pitt was friendly and chatty, which was more than enough for us all, since he really was the spitting image!

One of my fellow Sports and Social Club reps won the competition, singing Duffy's 'Warwick Avenue' - she's tiny; it was a surprise what a big voice she had. To round off, some of the managers had roped in a gang of staff and raided a local theatre's props box, to produce a fantastic tribute to 'Thriller'. The make up was quite incredible and they'd been rehearsing like mad. Funny, I never noticed they'd been missing all week. (Oops, bit controversial that! Oh, well. *shrugs*)