Tess looks trim, no tin foil in sight! Brucie doing political satire - it’ll never catch on. Sue Barker and Adrian Chiles both in the audience - next year, out there on the floor please, Auntie!
First up then, Tom and Camilla - looking gorgeous - both of them - the colours suit Cam. Great Cha Cha song choice ‘Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide’ - you’re not kidding, first up and high expectations because of ‘Tap Dances with Drums’. No, not a Native American contestant but this and because he’s Fit! Came across very sane and normal in training and he’s making Cam happy! Missed the first step in the Cuban Break, but waited and was ready for the second. Liking that he didn’t panic and cock it up completely. Great dance, fun to watch. Bruno says he was a Tom Cat and there would be kittens purring; Craig said he was smug and his walks were mincey - well, he should know I guess. Even Brucie gave Craig some stick after that remark. Arlene, as expected, was very taken with the hip action! Judges score: 28 - Could be middle of the board - always a concern.
Phil and Flavia waltzing to a Whitney song ‘I Have Nothing’ - lovely song but possibly not the most positive message to send. Some lovely choreography again courtesy of Flavia but I dunno - she looked a bit dead behind the eyes to me, the dazzling smile never quite made it up there. Phil looked like he was sucking a cough drop all the way through. The giggling in the training room didn’t make it on to the dance floor, there didn’t seem to be much connection. I found it uncomfortable to watch. Bruno reckons Phil was holding his breath all through it, then he made me laugh out loud by doing an impression of Len calling out his score. Judges score: 20. Could be in trouble.
Lilia and Don get down and funky for a Cha Cha to ‘Let’s Groove Tonight’, another good song choice. Couldn’t you just drown in Don’s voice? Lilia wants him to ‘stop thinking!’ Training looks to be going smoothly. Yay - he’s got rhythm. Not always in the right place mind, but it’s there. I really enjoyed this and so did they. Craig scored a ’3’ - cue the boos. Judges score: 19 - but that’s what Lilia got with Darren Gough first week so fingers crossed.
Erin and Anton, sorry, Austin - that’s going to keep happening, I know it is. I think I may have done it on the message boards already. They look like Fun, Erin looks Fab. Miss Whiplash meets the Leicester Lip - and they’re getting on great. Beautiful dance, beautiful song I didn’t know but am reliably informed it’s ‘Rainbow Connection’ by Kermit the Frog! Very, very together. Len said it’s the best first dance for a man he’s ever seen. Bruno said Arlene’s bosom was going up and down - shouldn’t he be watching the dancers feet or something? Call me old-fashioned an’ all. Austin said Len was very good-looking and got a 9 from him! Judges score: 32 - I would say they’re safe, even if in the dance off (unlikely).
Hayley and Mark dancing the ‘Tennessee’ waltz, they make a lovely couple, down to earth. Didn’t set the floor alight, but pretty nervous I think. And tall, which makes it harder, according to Len. Bruce told Hayley he liked her butter (she’s from New Zealand) I don’t think the audience got it. Bruno told Mark he looks like a God, now he’ll have to dance like one. Craig, being Craig, told us the dance was D-U-double L. Dull. But he’s a miserable g*t, we’ll just ignore him. Mark then told us that if he makes the final he’ll wear his swimming trunks. So then Tess told us: “Ladies, when the phone lines open, you know what to do!” Judges score:22 They’ll be ok, too many of us wanting to see Mark in a slash to the waist Latin shirt. And swimming trunks.
Karen and Gary - I’m not going to mention the crunchies. Dammit, I just did. Local boy, but I’m not really warming to him. Appears to be driving Karen mad in training, too much of a perfectionist. Dreadful, dreadful song choice for their Cha Cha - ‘Hippy Hippy Shake’ - far too quick, surely. Gary struggling to keep up with Karen. And what was that bit with Karen bent over all about? Very strange. He did go for it though, to be fair. Bruno said he was like the Mad Chef from the Muppet Show, Craig said “I don’t want to be vile…” but why change the habit of a lifetime? Good partnership though, IF (note: big IF) they get through there’s a lot of work to be done. Judges score: 17 Nuff said.
Kristina and John dancing the waltz to the lovely ‘Come Away with Me’ and didn’t we all do just that - has there ever been a sweeter, more charming man on SCD? (Apart from Gethin, of course).That little giggle, they’re so lovely together, Kristina seems really nurturing. John was so into the dance, felt every note with his soul. Bruno said it was like watching Winnie the Pooh and Tigger in a good way . Even Craig was charmed. Len said: “Sometimes, a whisper conveys more than a shout.” Possibly the wisest thing I’ve ever heard Len say. And John promised NOT to wear his swimsuit if he reached the final. LOL! Judges score: 22 - I think J&K will have won a lot of hearts though, so I’m sticking my neck out and saying they’ll make it through.
Andrew and Ola chose ‘Mercy’ for their Cha Cha, maybe it was aimed at the judges! Great song choice and Andrew has rhythm! A GMTV presenter with rhythm! Bit stiff, but there is potential and they seem to have gelled. Debating point: Was it a lift? Nobody said anything, I think Andrew was just a little too enthusiastic when swinging Ola around and I can’t see Ola wanting to jeopardise their chances in the first round by losing marks. Judges score: 23 Not safe by any means. And what the hell was Ola wearing? I guess the male voters will like it. But not the most flattering costume I‘ve seen her in.
The Ladies Group Dance: In training Jessie feels like crying *bye* I can’t stand the weepy ones. Jodie looks like she has four legs. Christine is excited, which beats her being pessimistic. The dance is Cha Cha based with ‘Lady Marmalade’ being wheeled out so they could all be sexy. Hm, tried a bit too hard - I felt the dance was bitty and messier than the boys meringue last year. Cherie had a bit of a stumble but recovered her poise; Christine not very elegant but going for it; Jessie and Gillian looked like Burlesque artists - they’ve gone with Kat Slater’s wardrobe - and Anton nearly pulled Gillian’s arm off when she went wrong; Jodie was ungainly and looked like she really couldn’t be asked; Heather was gettin’ a groove on, funky; Rachel looked nice, just, uh, well nice and Lisa look liked she was trying not to get too sweaty. I wasn‘t impressed.
All in all - the boys showed the girls the way tonight - and the idea that this was a stronger line up than last year? Nope, can‘t see it - yet. The main thing is - IT’S BACK! *Note to family: Run for cover - get your own meals - I’m busy for the next three months - if you don’t like it, b****r off.
The Results Show
So, in the main show, Craig was horrible and undermarked, Len was back to being kindly old uncle Len and overmarked. Thought Bruno and Arlene were quite well behaved and consistent in their scoring - perhaps someone had a word for this series. A few stupid comments but not so much of the savagery, so hopefully no sympathy votes in the results tonight. And straightaway we’re treated to Dom saying Don would need a taxi - what does he know, bit of the green eyed monster there, is it, that Lilia is getting on with Don better? Definitely an awkwardness with Phil and Flavia; John and Kristina just put a smile on my face again; Sue Barker and Stephanie Beacham both enamoured of Mark! Adrian Chiles wondered how Andrew could keep his mind on the dance, my seventeen year old reckons Ola’s outfit was ‘nice’, it was more the way he said it that worried me. Hm, he’s clubbing regularly too now and learning to drive. Seems like only yesterday I was wiping his bum. Austin’s face at Len saying “Erin gets men!” made me chuckle, as did Bruno and Bruce’s ankle/uncle business. Craig reckons he gave Gary the ‘1’ for turning up. The judges were actually on good form, a return to the less shouty, aggressive days.
Mattesha! Coming at cha … cha - stunning! The return of Mutley, you gotta love Alesha! A fabulous pro foxtrot, very classy. The group dance, 16 couples on the floor at once, half with a quickstep, half with a jive of sorts, on the whole, not a good idea. I just hope they had lifejackets standing by. Watching the training was better, especially Ola’s face (noted by Erin) when James and Andrew came back after a game of tennis!
Claudia’s new hair - and a masterclass where she’s going to concentrate? Nooooooo - be ditzy, it’s much more fun! Bette Midler singing ‘Wind Beneath My Wings” once they got past the awful staged ‘joke’ section; James and Ola accompany with a rumba containing a couple of immense lifts.
In the quick clips of how they men are doing, Phil is the only one who doesn’t seem too worried whether he goes or not - surprising attitude. They’re under the spotlights; Karen and Kristina look tearful. Austin/Erin - safe; Mark/Hayley - safe; Tom/Camilla - safe; Lilia and Ola looking worried; Andrew/Ola - safe; Gary/Karen - safe; John/Kristina - safe, biggest cheer. So it’s Phil and Don to dance off. Flav already looks like she’s about to cry. Flavia and Phil - Why can’t he look at her? It’s like he can’t wait to get away. Poor Flavia. Lilia and Don - You see, now he can't take his eyes off her. No contest. Don made mistakes but he wants to be there. Craig and Arlene went for Phil, Bruno for Don and with Len’s casting vote, Don stays in the competition. The popular choice in the audience. Both Phil and Flavia have brightened up now it’s over, can’t help but get a sense of relief from them.
Oh, well, that’s it all over for less than 24 hours! ITT 6.30pm BBC2 all week, we’re back to do it all again at 6.45 pm next Saturday night. Who’ll be the first lady out?