A night in with Pam Ayres

I saw Pam Ayres live
And now my sides have split
At her anecdotal wonderings
She thought about and writ
I was happy sitting there
I’m not a poetry snob
But it’s a shame the bloke behind me
Kept poking me with his programme.
As far as the audience was concerned
I was the youngest there (probably!)
I’d looked after me teeth
And still had all my own hair.
We had the tale of the wonder bra
Some looked a little confused
When she started on the French Lessons
They looked even more bemused
I can be honest enough to say
It’s the best stand-up I’ve seen
Fair enough, I don’t get out much
But a funny, engaging routine.
Pam can be very naughty
I think I’m on her wavelength
But that man with his sodding programme
Dear God, please give me strength.

The Race for Life: In memory of Christopher.

Today is the anniversary of a very courageous young man, my nephew Christopher, losing his fight against cancer last year. Known as Nelly to his mates - he turned up at school one day sporting a plaster on one cheek - apparently rap artist Nelly used to do that. Sport the plaster that is, not turn up at school. Not that I'm saying Nelly bunked off or anything - I didn't know him as a child. Anyway, the point is, of course, that I'm doing the Race for Life for Christopher. Though when I say 'Race' I am using the term in the loosest possible sense; likely it'll be The Stroll-with-the-possibility-of-breaking-into-a-slight-jog for Life. Or a Shimmy for Life, if I remember to borrow an I-Pod. If you'd like to donate, all you have to do is click that race for Life button just there on the left.

3BT: The Sunday Sport. No, not that one! Behave.

The Boat Race was won by Oxford for the fourth time in five years and nobody sank.

I rowed at school and whilst I never sank, I did hit a bridge once. They’d let us out in sculling boats, which was all well and good ‘cept I forgot there was a bend in the river. It wasn’t my fault - you can’t see where you’re going and you don’t get a coxwain in a sculling boat, do you!

The Cyclists didn’t quite hit the heights of last year but still show the ‘bigger’ sports the way home with their World Championship results, with two golds and third in the medal table. Dave Brailsford won’t be settling for that though.

And way to go Jenson Button - a 1st and 3rd for our lads in the first GP in Melbourne. A very messy affair with a lot of debris, except for Jenson who led from lights to flag, whilst Lewis stormed through from 18th on the grid to somehow end up 3rd. We last saw him in around 7th, but they didn’t make it very clear how he got to fourth, as I’m sure not all them in front crashed out. Jake will probably know, I’m sure he’ll update soon! (I'm guessing there might still be a bit of partying to be done yet).

My name in the paper! Well, sort of …

Oh, to be twenty years younger, free to travel the world and paid to write. It’s too late for me but I shall live it through my clever and talented niece, who has lived and worked abroad and has a piece in the Daily Mail today! Brooke co-wrote the story - she’s a proper journalist you see (unlike me; I just pretend in my spare time. But am open to offers - writing offers that is - especially paid ones so I can be a proper journalist!) and she put together this article about Cryogenics. She’s always on the lookout for someone’s story to tell, so if you have something you think needs sharing in a magazine or newspaper, you can contact me via the email on The Daily Scatter - see ‘Letters to the Editor’ down the right hand side - and I’ll put you in touch. She can sing too; if I didn’t love her I’d hate her.

Funny she should mention Simon Cowell - the X-Factor audition panel told her she sounded too much like Celine Dion for them to consider her??!! Go figure …

3BT: Song(s) for Today

I came in halfway through this on the radio and was trying to figure out: Was it Jill Scott? Erykah Badu? Gobsmacked when Mr DJ said it was Amy Winehouse (course I can hear it now) but it’s a familiar old story isn’t it - how a talent wilts under pressure. Her record company have chucked her last lot of demos back at her, let's hope she can get back on form soon.

I’m doing a Running Commentary about The Apprentice on my Unreality Shout blog, if you’re interested in that kind of thing. I know - it’s nothing to do with dancing! I must be getting out more and not noticed …The Hobbit reckoned Anita reminded him of a blowfish.

Poorly littlun perks up

Matt appears to have an ingrowing toenail - he was all weepy and pathetic until the nurse said the magic words - “You don’t have to go to school.” Suddenly, it didn’t seem to hurt so much!

He had a mad rush upon his return though - he was supposed to have done a poster about ‘Sand’ for science homework. Cue taking out the stopper from the requisite Isle of Wight souvenir - a little bottle of multi coloured sand. It was pretty effective actually, not bad for a last minute effort. We have a mini beach in the living room now, but hey, as long as he gets a good mark!

Sporty 3BT

England's Women win the Cricket World Cup. Didn't you see the ticker tape and triumphant open top bus parade? Honestly, where were you? Or maybe that'll be next week?

Tune in for the Cycling World Championships, coverage starts on BBC2 at 7pm on Wednesday.

Breaking News: Footballing Teenager re-christened ‘The Hobbit’.

He was curled up in a ball on the sofa, asleep after the game yesterday - all we could see was a pair of dirty feet. They were probably like it before he went football.

Running Commentary, Dancing on Ice: The Final

We start with T&D’s Bolero. Still mesmerising. The required element this week - Flying! Karen went with just the blue smarties this week.

Floral out first, to Rocket Man. Great control, fab shapes but very little time on the ice and it’s his skating that’s has been his strength. Score: 23.5 - including a six from Ruthie (a 3 from Jason makes the average between them about right, I’d say.) Where’s Ruthie going to go from there, bearing in mind Jessica and Ray are stronger than Donal? Pavica - One Moment in Time, there’s no mention of flying in that though? *Shrugs* Not my fave song, but a lovely warm performance, I actually got goosebumps. I’m sure they used to spend some time on the ice though. Score: 25.5. Maray to The Greatest Day. Seems they’ve dispensed with the Angels/flight theme then! Another fine performance, fantastic partnership and a bit more on the ice. Score: 30! I confess to not being blown away by the aerials this time round though, not like Suzanne’s last year. I’m looking forward to something uptempo on the ice now.

But no, Floral have gone with Everybody Hurts, their favourite and it is beautiful, nailed the big lift. A well deserved best score ever: 25.5 His daughter shouted out for him and there was a collective 'Awwww’ from the audience! Pavica have gone for uptempo, yay! Mercy, excellent choice, great skating, lots of tricks. Score: 26 Maray - Canned Heat, please Canned Heat but of course they’ve gone for Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, their perfect routine before. And again - there’s no denying the quality of it, smooth, emotive. Score: 30, not a surprise. 60 out of a possible 60! Awesome. Doubt we’ll ever see that again. I don’t know why it was better than before but I thought it was - Robin said it was the ‘nuances’. That’s nuances, not nuisances, which is my family when I’m trying to watch something. It’s Mothers Day - you’d think they’d be quiet and let me hog the telly, wouldn’t you?

The Oxford Freestylers, choreographed by T&D. Exciting! Pulp It - and it was very exciting, great stuff. They are showmen. Just two to go through and skate their version on Bolero - I can’t decide, but I think, on the whole, I’m going for Maray. It’s Maray V Floral! Feel so so sorry for Pavica - why oh why can’t they let the third place do Bolero too! They’d be happy still then, now they’re upset. Oh, what’s that - they’ll do it on tour? Ok, I was thinking about going - that settles it. Crafty, aren’t they?

Floral’s Bolero - they could nick this, I‘ve a feeling it will be emotional. Gorgeous smooth ending with what has become his signature move, the Olympic Hydroplane. Calling for a knighthood for T&D, what a guy! Maray’s Bolero - well, that does it for me, his skating has been phenomenal, he’s nailed the musicality, the performance, the emotion, everything, every week. The others are all back. This has been the strongest line up so far, real strength in depth. Apologies about Gemma. Er, is it cruel to say I’d forgotten all about her? Recapping T&D’s best bits and now we’re ready for the verdict.

It’s MARAY! So pleased for Maria, she’s been close a couple of times and always builds a smashing partnership with her celeb. Crack on then Ray - there’s a Winter Olympics next year!

Irish eyes are smiling ...

Woohoooooo!! I tuned in, I groaned, I cheered, I disappeared out to the kitchen when the Welsh scored, only to return, heart in mouth, for the final few minutes after the drop goal went over. One day, just once, I'd like to be able to watch something live, in full, knowing that we were going to win! It's not just Irish rugby - I always feared I'd put the mockers on bankers like Steve Redgrave. Brian O'Driscoll, up there - Man of the Match again!

And, to cap a terrific day - England won the Women's Six Nations Championship! Which I can legitimately celebrate too - I'm only half Irish. And a quarter Welsh, so it was never going to be a completely wasted day, was it? Congratulations to Catherine Spencer and her team.

Motown legend on the Jonathan Ross show

Hasn’t anyone told Lionel Richie he’s supposed to age? He doesn’t look any different now from twenty-five years ago - what’s your secret, Lionel, come on, give it up. Legendary Lionel is probably responsible for more wedding first dances than anyone else, although we also hear a tiny scrap of the funky Machine Gun, with the Commodores, who he tells us will get to do a final tour with him! Sounds good to me, as does the clip of his new album ‘Just Go’, which sees him collaborate with the likes of Akon. He mentioned also that Marvin Gaye used to make up his songs as he went along! Incredible. Oh, and he wiped out Michael Jackson in a pillow fight, lol!

Sportsnight

Women’s cricket - The England ladies team are in the World Cup final again!

Athletics: Gold for Mo Farah and Dwain Chambers at the European Indoor Championships, and silvers for both relay teams.

Paralympians set world records.

Curling: GB Junior Women win World Champs.

Swimmers break World, European and Commonwealth records.

The things they say …

Brad The Teen started calling Matt ‘Archie’ when he lost one of his remaining baby teeth.

Matt retaliated with “Yeah, whatever, Lance De Boil …"

Ever done a home makeover?

Jamie and Harriet were asking the Heartfm listeners if they’ve ever ruined someone’s house …

Well, we didn’t exactly ruin the house - but it was quite a close run thing, as I recall. I still get Xmas cards anyway and I’m sure - yes, I’ve definitely seen the homeowner socially since. And it wasn‘t like it was just me. I’m sure a plumber got there eventually - he must have, because I was able to leave the bathroom, where I’d been flushing the loo continually for god-knows how long, whilst Hazel battled with the actual leak and Jill was up in the loft checking out the water tank. Oh, hang on, no, she never made it up to the loft, because she stepped on the ladder before it was on the floor and broke it. I remember gazing at a manhole outside wondering if there was anything we could do there but for the life of me I can’t remember anything else. Maria’s hen night, Maria’s house - she can probably remember it well.

My first blog post for unreality tv, sparing you the agony of having to read about Gethin again! Unless you really, really want to …who needs their arm twisting?

Happy St.Patrick's Day

... and fingers crossed for Saturday!

3BT: My Favourite Things

We all love a star who can take the mickey out of themselves, don’t we! Julie Andrews, celebrating her 69th birthday, made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP, with a re-written classic! You have to sing along!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings

Bundles of magazines tied up in string

These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings

These are a few of my favourite things.

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak, when the knees go bad

I simply remember my favourite things

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring

These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin'

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin'

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames

When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break, when the eyes grow dim

Then I remember the great life I've had

And then I don't feel so bad.

Julie understandably received a standing ovation lasting nearly five minutes, with repeated encores. Genius!

The Rochester Castle Concert dates have been released, click here for full details - I can recommend Jools Holland. (Why did no-one tell me I'd spelt his name completely wrong! Yes, YOU!)

Port Lympne Wild Animal Park are having another music weekend to raise much needed protection funds - go along and support them if you can.

Running Commentary, Dancing on Ice: Semi-Final

Well, thanks to hubby, I missed the beginning: “Yes, you can watch it downstairs” and then just as it comes on he says: “Actually, I want to keep watching Antiques Road Show. Can you go upstairs?” Grrrrr. So I’m guessing T&D’s performance was spectacular, judging by the spectacular finish suspended on the wires. Thanks, hun. Required element: The solo spot - from the tunnel, twenty seconds alone! Karen’s dropped a packet of smarties on her dress; Ruthie’s pinned a shower scrunchie to hers - why would you do that?

Floral out first, he’s James Bond, all moody and dramatic - Live and Let Die has totally wowed me! Excellent solo section (apart from some dodgy armography - not his fault!) Hee hee - C’mon Donal! I want to see him do Bolero. Score: 22.5 - should be more. Boooo Jason Boooo - yah boo sucks to you, miserable sod. Maray Oooh, ooh - latin number coming up, all Paso-fied and flamenco flavoured! Missed the song title - Spiderboss? I’m excited, don’t disappoint me - he didn’t, fantastic - those leaps! Fab-u-lous. I want to see him do Bolero. Score: 28. I love Karen and Nicky; he’s a big kid, she puts him on the naughty step.

Have to just comment on the advert break: OMG - Barry Manilow is covering ‘Never Gonna Give you Up’ - please tell me it isn’t true …

I’ve every sympathy with Coleen, having a prolapsed disc myself. Unless it’s healed. My whole leg went numb when it happened. Did I panic? Yep - cried like a baby for my mum. ‘Still the One’ very sedate, to be expected. Score: 16.5 Jason gets booed for this 3.0, Robin gets away with it. Her old man’s bawling his eyes out - it was their wedding song. Pavica skate to Annie Lennox - Why? And why not, indeed. Lovely, lovely skating as usual, so effortless. Score: 26.5 I want to see her do Bolero too - but I fear, if Coleen is top with the public, it will be Jess V Donal in the skate off. Ray will be safe, Jess will be safe except against Ray, Donal will only be safe against Coleen. Floral most at risk, so I’ll vote for them. And Pavica. And possibly Maray. Sorry, Colart.

Portmanteau - that’s what it’s called - when you combine the two names. Don’t know why it suddenly came to me now. Here we go - safe and skating in the final: Ooh, straight into a break - nasty. Here we go again: Pavica! Yes! Wow - didn’t see that coming! Maray, woohoo! And Floral will go through. Thank God *does a happy little dance around the room*

Ice-factor - I’d forgotten about this, possibly because I was pretty under whelmed by two of the acts. Nick - I could watch him again quite happily - but he is just a more experienced Ray, isn’t he. Hannah and Daniel - the ‘Ahhh’ factor but just a younger version of T&D really. The Elody - singing on ice. Perhaps the director could have shown a bit more, I’m thinking: What’s the point? Oxford Freestylers - that’s the one for me - they’re skating and performing something different. Yep, see - am I psychic? Well, no, obviously, since I didn’t foresee Pavica going straight through, did I!

Floral really turned it on - better than the first time, brilliant. Florentine’s lovely, isn’t she. It’s a formality really, let’s hope Coleen enjoys herself. Her little girl is setting me off. Coleen’s a gritty realist: “I’m so out of the competition - bring on the flowers!” She’s right - it’s 5-0 to Floral. Bring on the Final - and please let all three couples perform Bolero this year, pretty please!

Let’s Dance for Comic Relief - The Final

And we’re kicking off with a group dance to 'Everybody Dance Now' and tonight’s panel has Denise van Outen and Michael McIntyre with Anton. Dick and Dom shake their tail feathers again - I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed this first time round, groovy new moves. The camera pans the audience - Ashley Cole looks cheerful doesn’t he? Paddy and Keith have the time of their lives again - they’ve been practising - but have lost the spontaneity I fear, it didn’t grab me so much this time. And they’re overdoing the staring in each others eyes a bit. Denise and Martin on the other hand have fired it up - Martin may get a vote purely on the strength of last night’s Full Monty. Loved their Shaka Laka Baby even more than the first time. Jo has taken being Britney more seriously, looks like they’ve all been getting a bit of extra practice in! The Bill’s Riverdance is fantabulistic, but then I’m half Irish so a bit biased (Grand Slam next week anyone?) the buzz generated is amazing. Robert out last - what a feeling - how do you choose between this lot? This is so funny and brilliant and his timing is incredible. I can’t vote, I love them all. I’ll let everyone else decide. While the vote is ongoing we have highlights of last night, seems like only a couple of hours ago. Which some of it was for me, watching on I-player. There‘s reports of wild abandoned dancing breaking out all over the country - ‘bout time too. Oh, Adrian - what have you done? Claudia made him commit, woohoo! I succumbed and voted for Robert - just in time. So now we wait and enjoy the cast of Hairspray - You Can’t Stop the Beat. Who else has been dancing round the room all night? To the sounds of ‘Muuuum, get out of the way’ and ‘what are you doing, mum’. They’re doing the ‘outs’ first: Dick and Dom; Denise and Martin; The Bill; Jo Brand. It’s Dirty Dancing V Flashdance. And Robert gets it! We had a good time, they had a good time and the ££££££££s are rolling in. The Great British public do it again; makes you proud, doesn‘t it.

A few observations on Red Nose Day

I’m still stuffed from yesterday at work; two Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, a Maccy D‘s breakfast, sundry fairy cakes and a slab of chocolate heaven. The things I do for charity. Cake baking seems to be the most popular fundraiser at our place, where a man suddenly appeared in the office naked, except for a red thong and cape, and painted red all over. Who he was I’ve no idea, but he didn’t half have a big bulging bucket by the time he left. Patsy Palmer adopting her Bianca persona during the Apprentice (put up job, d’you reckon?) I’ve already blubbed twice and I’m sooo jealous of Davina McCall, the way David Tennant just grabbed her! I’m surprised the ladies in the audience didn’t all start throwing money at him! Mamma Mia fantastic, the malaria films all set me off again. Smithy for England manager, biggest laughs out loud so far. Take That back again with their Chas’n’Dave number ‘Up All Night’. It’s now 4.30pm Saturday afternoon and I’m still working my way through I-player, laughing at everything, cos it‘s gets you like that: Crying at everything else! What more can I say - it’s at over £57 million and I’ve still got Horne and Corden to watch yet. But I think I should do dinner. Back later with the final of Let's Dance.

3BT: Chocolate, shetland, art

They wouldn't dare ...would they? They’d better not, that’s all I’ll say. They think they’ve seen rebellions in this country before (ok, not many, admittedly) it’ll be nothing compared to the one I would personally start, if they t …t …ta…I can’t even bring myself to say it. I love my chocolate, you know I do - but I know when to stop. I can stop it anytime, just like that. I don’t need chocolate. I mean, yes, it’s yummmmmy and commmmmforting and kind of just mmmmelts in the mmmmouth and …how long till Easter?

People can overdose on roast beef and yorkshire pud too you know, Dr. Walker - gonna call for a tax on that are you, huh? Are you? The problem lies with eating too much of anything, not just the things that are ‘bad’ for you - there are plenty of skinny people who live on things that are bad for you. Even when they’re offered a proper dinner. Oh, hello Brad *waves* - didn’t see you there.

Ahhhh of the day, along with LOL of the day at the people who called the fire brigade, thinking the pony was stuck in the mud! Harriett’s back on Heart FM - Jamie must have missed her - he reckons that happened to her in the snow; she’s a Shetland Presenter!


Matt had an Art Curriculum evening at school; he found all the sculptures, made a carpet sea picture and collectively created a huge multi-coloured dot canvas. I drew Mr. Bean while I was waiting - I think his teachers were well impressed. I mean, it’s the only thing I’ve ever drawn that’s vaguely recognisable! Yes, I know it was done on a grid but the photocopy wasn‘t the greatest quality. Matt gave me 10/10 so I’m happy!

Baaaad attitude ...

I'm really not sure if I should let my mum see this, or you for that matter. No! Don't! Get the cushions and the ice first! Really Gethin, they'll NEVER have you back on BP now!

DO SOMETHING FUNNY FOR MONEY - we're almost there!

3BT: The Day Today

Oops - shocking typo of the day …

Er - Away Day with the fairies? I’m paying attention to the tutor, she’s telling us about writing a bibliography at the end of our 1000 - 1500 word reflective essay and I’m absentmindedly playing with my earrings, like you do, when I realised I’m wearing a dangly silver twisty affair in one ear but a small round gold affair in the other. And I walked through a busy town centre like that.

DO SOMETHING FUNNY FOR MONEY!

Thought I'd better bring this back up here - only a few days left, nearly 3/4 there!

Running Commentary, Dancing On Ice: Week Nine

The Leap of Faith! The unassisted jump is this weeks required element, this could end in tears …unless you’re Zoe or Coleen, in which case we start with them! T&D are dancing to who I’m pretty sure is The Buble! Save the Last Dance for Me - or was it a rolo? Sublime, both ice dancing and singing. Did Tony just call Donal Donald?
Pavica and perennial reality show song ‘Mercy’ and I liked that very much! The jumps were there and some excellent skating and lifts and very together musically. Blimey - even Jason and Ruthie are finally convinced! Score: 26. Floral have a stress rehearsal with some wheel balancing issues in ‘The Car’! C’mon Donal, Let’s Stick Together. The choreography seemed a bit bitty, Florentine always seems to be having a ball though, lots of intricate footwork, bit clumsy into the lift but the jump a good effort. Score: 22

Zomatt and Zoe loves ‘Run’ but oh, dear, the tears are back. She delivers though, that was beautiful, not sure if the serious face was an attempt at emotion or if she was petrified; missed the jump. I wasn't paying attention to the score: 23 or 23.5? Colart are carrying a wrist injury but it’s not fractured. Diamonds are Forever the song and they’ve dropped a bunch on her costume. An assisted jump to protect the wrist, some good lines and a very good final lift. Her most confident and best to date. Score: 18

Maray: The Russian Splits Jump *Yikes* The song ‘Somebody’ incidental, we’re just waiting and there’s the build up and WOW - there it is! Performance dropped a bit because of the concentration but there’s no denying that move. Maria had a little stumble; I think she’s in shock! Score: 28

And we’re back after Wild at Heart - did you see the loved up giraffes at the end? Awwww. Safe and skating next week: Maray! Floral! Back after the break, will Colart survive again? Yes! I figured it’d be Pavica and Zomatt. The Ice X-factor, whittling down to four. The little Grease couple, Hannah and Daniel; Nick, the shirtless wonder; The Oxford Freestylers; and the girl band, Elody??!! I mean, ok, we didn’t see all the auditions and I should trust Chris and Jayne but …

Pavica back first, better second jump, didn’t hold the big lift as long but still such good skating. Zomatt jump just not good enough, not as clean overall. I thought it was a worse performance than the first one? But Chris said there's nothing between them. Now I’m worried, as I prefer Pavica to Zomatt. Yep, 4-1 Pavica; Ruthie went for Zoe, surprise, surprise - she really is the most obviously biased judge I’ve seen in any reality show. At least Jason is equally brutal to everyone at some point!

The question for next week is: How safe is Ray? Clearly Donal and Coleen must be top two with the public - but the public can’t save both, if Ray is more popular with Jessica, unless he has a nightmare and isn’t top of the board and ooh, where’s me calculator …

Let’s Dance For Comic Relief: Week Three

You’ve got to prove you’ve got what it take. In sweat …and dignity! Anton is joined by SCD 3rd placer, Lisa Snowden and comedian Dara O’Briain. And Claudia’s wearing green. Hmm. Angela Rippon - ha ha - I may not grab the mop in the middle of the supermarket but I know how she feels! Yay - go Angela! Big Spender - brilliant, I bet some SCD contestants would love to have had her presence on stage. And credits the backing dancers, nice one. I think Anton’s in love! Dom Jolly - Oh, yes - it’s Hammer Time! U Can’t Touch This - fun fun fun all the way, those pantaloons could win it on their own! Oi - now Dara’s nicking my lines - that’s Philip’s job. Zoe and Suggs. I love Suggs. I never did know what ‘the Pulp Fiction song’ was called - You Never Can Tell. Zoe really looks like Uma. They were excellent, probably too good! Zoe did most of the work, to be fair. Denise and Martin - they’re wheeling out the SCD connections tonight aren’t they! Bollywood’s Shaka Laka Baby - Denise won the dance off and OMG - how are we supposed to choose from this lot? They’re all so good. Fern Britton is Singing in the Rain, with her fear of water, lol. Hey, how’d she get to snog the copper? Cheeky and flirty and great fun. Was it Philip? It wasn’t, was it? The Bill, Lisa and Patrick and how fab is Lisa? I was told at football this morning to watch out for their Riverdance and I’m not disappointed (I wasn’t told the results) Dara will love this. Brilliant! And that’s just the wig!

Well frankly, I’m glad I was out and didn’t have to choose who to vote for! Who made me laugh out loud? Dom. Smile? Fern and Angela. Bob up and down? Zoe and Suggs. Smile and bob? Denise and Martin. Smile, bob and go WOW? The Bill. I guess there’ll be a recreation of Mamma Mia at a wedding or charity event sometime soon! Who’s through? It’s The Bill! The judges again have a tough choice between Fern and Denise/Martin - it’s the Bollywood pair, Anton not needed again.

Don’t forget to DO SOMETHING FUNNY FOR MONEY. I’m resorting to posting song titles individually, otherwise I’ll end up feeling very mean! Come on, help me out!

Friday night is party night

I was almost late for work today because Toby's Time Tunnel was 1977 or thereabouts. I couldn’t possibly leave the car while Disco Inferno was playing could I? Plus there was Car Wash, Jammin' and Best of My Love (Make a great cha cha but no decent you tube version I could find). And last week he brought this little gem out for a play This time I Know it’s For Real - Donna Summer - not sure you could use it on Strictly though. But it was great for Benjy’s on a Friday night. In fact, that could have been us on the video …

And this I couldn’t think of for ages; it was driving me mad, not remembering the title: Take Me To Aruanda by Astrud Gilberto - that’s a must for a proper samba isn’t it? Thank you Jazzfm for dropping that in my lap one day this week. Except it’s not on youtube - if you haven’t heard it before, that version is pretty close. And so the bamba isn’t left out: Stevie Wonder: Do I do would be terrific, wouldn’t it?

Jammin’ gave the taste for some lovers rock - these are two I associate with the year I started work: Paradise by Jean Adebambo, who has sadly passed away and Janet Kay’s Closer to You. Both up in the loft somewhere, with most of the others. One day …I’ve been told to check out paint and stuff, it might be this year we decorate and buy a turntable, yippee!

Brad was off out partying tonight and was ready to go at 7.30. So hubby gave him the usual “Bit early, isn’t it? Don’t want to miss the jelly and ice cream, eh? We never used to go to parties till 11 o’clock in our day” spiel and then quipped “Make sure you grab the nearest seat when the music stops!” Even Brad the Teen laughed.

I guess you had to be there.

Don't forget to do something funny for money! Maybe one of the above will inspire you (see two posts below).

Have a great weekend :)

Winter Sportsnight

Nicole Minichiello, Gillian Cooke, Jackie Gunn - Bobsleigh World Champions, GB’s first since Nash and Dixon in 1965.

Special Olympic success at the Winter World Games.

More Skeleton Bob success with Silvers for Adam Pengilly and Amy Williams.


DO SOMETHING FUNNY FOR MONEY - SEE POST BELOW.

3BT: DO SOMETHING FUNNY FOR MONEY: SCENES WE'D LIKE TO SEE ...

... the worst records in the world ever:

My Stalker Just Cares For Me

Pimp My Bell

Stairway to Attic

Remember I mentioned this last week? If this post ends up with at least 100 comments, either adding your own song title or commenting on someone else’s, I’ll double my donation to Comic Relief. I’ll re-post this link every few days to keep it near the top as we get closer to Comic Relief night - please send it onto anyone you think might contribute. Thank you!

Running Commentary, Dancing On Ice: Week Eight

Props week!!! We’re starting with a Group Pro skate to It’s Raining Men, complete with brollys. Fred’s guns are as big as Austin’s and ooh, Daniel, steady with the hip thrusts, you’ll have someone’s eye out. Jayne manages to avoid the raindrops, Chris doesn’t.

Roxiel thought for a minute their prop was a fridge, lol, but no, it’s the chair and Chris is showing Roxy how to sex it up, which she’s not too confident with BUT - she sells it in the routine, Dontcha probably helped, brilliant - I loved it, her best yet. Oi, Philip, I said that first! Score: 21. Jayne looks amazing tonight. Roxy has a dig at Ruthie - calls her Karen - and why not! Ruthie really not impressed. Maray have the hat, which never helps anyone produce much of a routine - not a lot you can do with it. So it’s just as well Ray can skate and show off musically to Have You Met Miss Jones. A small stumble, I’m not sure they didn’t miss a lift slightly. Score: 26 I’d say a smidgen too high - and I didn’t notice his hat on the wrong way. Too busy watching arms and legs, me. Call me old fashioned…Philip’s hit the judges with a glittery hammer. Perhaps Brucie can borrow it off him.

Pavica skating to Rihanna’s Umbrella - you’ll never guess what their prop is … go on, have a guess. That’s right, it’s a pair of welly boots. I’m kidding, of course it’s an umbrella! Thoroughly enjoyed that, great attitude and set pieces with the prop. Score: 23.5 Colart have the yellow feather boa and she’s wearing a brown dress. No, really - it’s the latest Mouldy Banana look from the Spring collections. Pretty much the same routine as usual but wearing a yellow feather boa, couple of nice touches, a bigger lift than we’ve seen from them before. Score: 16.5 She is funny though - “If it were alive, I’d kill it and eat it.”

OMG - do they have to show Donal’s excruciatingly bruised leg right at the moment I help myself to a bowl of rhubarb and custard? Floral have the broom and are dancing to I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Bruise - ha ha - I’m so going to remember that for tomorrow’s post. Actually, I’ll probably forget, so I’m just jotting it down in my notebook. WOW! His best, my favourite of the night. Beautiful, beautiful partnership. What did I say last week? Go back and check it, go on. Score: 23. Again, Philip - get your own jokes! Charming, yes - that’s the word, Robin. Zomatt have canes and Matt is strangely alluring as a majorette. Alesha’s The Boy Does Nothing makes for an energetic performance, transferring the cane through the spins is pretty cool. Score: 25.5 - a six from Ruthie for the performance level, I’m not so sure re the actual skating and musicality.

We know no-one is safe, don’t we? There’ll be a lot of bitten fingernails backstage. Jason reckons there’s been a lot of missed propportunities *groans* come on, that’s worse than any of mine …maybe not. Safe and skating next week: Pavica! How relieved? Maray; Colart; back after the break, last one safe: Floral! Yes! But I feel for Zoe and Roxy - their best performances and they’re skating off, but it’s the business end of the contest now. Roxy definitely connected more with Dan, but will it be enough? Is Philip reading my mind tonight? I prefer Roxy, find Zoe a bit high maintenance but there’s always the chance Gethin will make a supportive appearance, so I can live with it. It’s 5-0 Zoe; at 3-0 Ruthie looked relieved she didn’t have a casting vote, controversy beckoned.

Will Coleen make it through again next week? Will Philip stop nicking my lines? Will Holly have dropped? Don’t send answers on postcards, just tune in next time to find out.

Let’s Dance For Comic Relief, Week Two

Great opening sequence which I missed last week, with the voice over by the legendary Brian Blessed. Claudia parachuted in, by the look of it …the panel - Anton, of course, Paul O’Grady and Jamelia; down, Steve. First out - Hollyoaks, doing Footloose. They’re excellent of course, not long out of stage school probably. They don’t stand a chance, Jo Brand is going to slaughter them, she is Britney. Ha ha - she’s really getting into the part. Close up of Vic Reeves realising Nancy has no chance. The Dragons -Let’s Face the Music and Dance. And they do, Deborah is elegant and has good timing and Peter and Duncan have a good time, I enjoyed that. Paddy McGuiness (who I’ve heard of) and Keith Lemon (who I haven’t but think I’ve seen somewhere) are doing Time of my Life from Dirty Dancing! This I cannot wait to see - training looks …a bit too good! Robert Webb’s competition just arrived - absolutely brilliant. The Lift! The buzz from the audience at the finale! Blue Peter have to follow - I suppose it would have been unfair to have had Gethin wouldn’t it? A great version of ‘Jailhouse Rock’, terrific slide from Peter Duncan and a real piece of teamwork. Nancy Sorrell teams up with Neil Fox for Candyman. Very slick, full of energy but they’re begging for votes. Tut tut. We don’t like that. We see a snapshot of the team training to climb Kilimanjaro - don’t see many of the girls doing much training - are the boys carrying their bags? The ever-reliable Will Young live and a montage of celebrity well wishers and it had to be …yes, of course, hello Geth! *waves* no I didn’t …well, maybe just a little one. And I’m watching on I-Player so …*rewinds* …*rewinds* …*rewinds*…Priscilla, Queen of the Desert …*rewinds* ..no seriously, Keith and Robert could probably land themselves a part in this. The first Slayer just pitched up in the middle. Results are in! Out: The Dragons, Hollyoaks, Nancy and Neil (told you). My top three are the top three - Paddy and Keith straight through, of course they are. Will the judges go for comedy or dancing? It’s Jo - Anton not needed for a casting vote. Two places remaining - do we have another treat a la Robert/Paddy and Keith still to come - it’s going to be tough on Final night!