Book Review: ‘Pretty Maids All In A Row' by Christopher Golden

“Into each generation a Slayer is born. One girl, in all the world, a Chosen One".

One of our favourite characters from the popular TV series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Spike is the most bloodthirsty, vicious, nasty vampire. Nevertheless, he has a great British sense of very black humour. And you know you shouldn't like him but you can't help yourself. He's pretty unique amongst the demons in the Buffy series: he doesn't want the end of the world. Rather, he likes being here; ".. .it's got Manchester United and 'Love Boat'... " and ".. .billions of people, walking around like Happy Meals with legs..." In BTVS of course, he becomes a trusted ally of the Slayer, thanks initially to a computer chip lodged in his head by a secret government agency, which prevents him from harming humans, then subsequently, painfully, regaining his soul to prove to Buffy how much he loves her.

In 1940 however, there are two battles being fought on the Home Front - "Pretty Maids..." brings Spike to us long before his dabbles with the Scooby Gang, when his sole purpose for existing is to please his sire, Drusilla, who turned him into a vampire and became the love of his (after)life. With her eightieth re-birthday fast approaching, he pledges to procure the perfect gift for her - Freya's Strand, a necklace so magical it provides the wearer the means to shape shift at will. And in order to own it, Spike deals with an ice demon called Skrymir, who wants nothing less than - you've guessed it - world domination. To achieve this, Skrymir needs to be rid of the bane of his life, the Watchers Council. The Council exists to train and watch over the current Slayer and all the potential slayers - Skrymir and Spike's plan is a simple one: Spike kills all the potentials before killing the current Chosen One, so Skrymir can attack the Watchers Council; Skrymir will then give him Freya's Strand.

Could this be the end of the Chosen One - of all of the Chosen ones - forever? Since we know the TV series is an ongoing phenomenon, it's a pretty high premise. However, this is essentially a story of Spike and Dru and is a great vehicle to show them off in all their fiendish glory!

Christopher Golden is a very talented author; this is one of his many novels based on the BTVS series, written either singly or in conjunction with other authors - check out 'The Lost Slayer' and 'Monster Island' (with Thomas E. Sniegoski). Here, he captures the essence of the series without the familiar scenery and slang that are so integral to the TV show. Setting the attack on the Watchers Council in wartime London at the time of the blitz and sending the vampires hunting across the killing fields of Europe is a masterstroke. Spike and Dru as both heroes and villains is an unlikely and bizarre scenario. Considering the gory, destructive mission they are on, how can you possibly root for them? Is it Spike's fit of patriotism when torpedoed by a U-Boat, perhaps?

Prepare to be shocked; Golden doesn't flinch from portraying graphically what monsters the vampires are - but he does it so eloquently, your heart will be racing along with the prose.