X-Factor Performances of the Night

Jemma returns with Miss Fitz - I thought Simon made a mistake not putting her through to the live show two years ago - terrific vocal. Bit worried when they said they were doing Britney but have to admit this was fab!



And Jamie Archer - we're actually seeing some great peformances in this new format - it's certainly sorting out those who can do it in a live show and those that can't.

3BT: Scenes We'd Like To See

Unlikely concerts ...

Michael Jackson's Is He/Isn't He/Is That Really Really It? Tour.

Robert Mugabe Presents: The White Supremacists, backed by the Colonial Crooners.

The Dark Lord Cometh - Peter Mandelson's reflections on Nosferatu, arranged by Ozzy Osbourne.

World Athletic Championship Round Up

On top of the Gold medals for Philips Idowu and Jessica Ennis, Team GB won two silvers on the final day - Lisa Dobriskey in the 1500m and the Mens 4 x 400m Relay - to go with two bronzes, the Mens 4 x 100m Relay and Jennie Meadows in the 800m, which put us 8th in the medal table, for our best World Championships since 1999. Our team coach says it's encouraging, read the report here!

3BT: Music, film, dancing

Took Matt to see Ice Age3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (in 3D) - he loved it, so did I. Starts off a bit slowly, but suddenly it's heart in your mouth time as there's danger at every turn. Only, not really really bad obviously - it's a proper family film in every sense - and a very rewarding afternoon's entertainment, with just the cutest little cartoon animal you've ever seen (the whole cinema sighed a collective "Awwwww"). Go see!

Remember 'Everybody's Free' by Rozalla, circa 1992 - major dance track, yes. No - the lady herself has remixed it and this is a lovely cool jazzy version. Enjoy!

And in case you've been in bed all day with no radio or tv or anything - Strictly Come Dancing has released their full line up for Series Seh-VEN! It follows the official unveiling of the Dancing With the Stars line-up yesterday, which had more leaks than the Titanic (SCD wasn't much better) in fact, the only one that probably kept their final line up quiet was So You Think You Can Dance Canada (the US version still to come). Head on over to Dance Dance Dance for full details.

X-Factor: Performances of the Night

For a full running commentary, see my Unreality TV blog!

Just to prove I can take a joke ...

... hubby sent me this:

Summer Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETEDby Tuesday September 14, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVELOF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2: Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3: Is It Possible To Drive Past a Matalan Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between a Handbag and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5: Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginningat 7:00 PM

Class 6: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program. Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8: Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMT - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9: I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10: How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim. Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11: Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12: How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14: The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors (ie, husbands.)

3BT: Phillips; Joe or Michael? Dining table tennis.

Congratulations to our second athletics World Champion - Phillips Idowu, Triple Jump Champion!

I'm going for a curry with some of the mums from cricket on Friday - we thought, let's ask a mum we haven't seen awhile and Debbie tells one of the lads, Michael, to phone his mum and ask her if she wants to come, which he duly does.

Debbie received a call back a few days later, from Joe's mum, thanking her for the invite! Fortunately she couldn't come, cos it would have been a bit embarrassing really, since none of us have ever actually met Joe's mum - it's a shame we don't know Michael as well as we do his mum, we might have recognised it wasn't him ...

Following on from 'Celebrity Wiff Waff' on The Daily Scatter, Matt and I cleared the dinner table and set up the table tennis net, only it was suspended horizontally between the chairs on either side - it was an extra point if you could land the ball on the net.

Dancing With The Stars line up revealed ...

... over there on the Dance Dance Dance blog! I've probably harped on about it on Twitter and on the blog, but it warrants repeating - Donny Osmond is in it!

All Hail Jessica Ennis!

Our new World Champion heptathlete - she led the table from start to finish and finished in style with victory in the last event, the 800metres. Yayyy!!

Sports Day

Alistair Brownlee has won the London Hyde Park Triathlon, his fourth, putting him firmly at the top of the rankings and making him favourite for the title. Helen Jenkins took the bronze in the women's event.

Paula Radcliffe returned to competition with victory in the New York Half Marathon and will hot-foot it over to Berlin for the World Championships, but will wait before confirming her entry into the Marathon.

Canoeing - Campbell Walsh wins the World Cup meet in Bratislava, whilst our wrestlers decide to get it on the act too - I think the first and last time I mentioned them, the coach was hopeful they would begin to succeed!

Cycling - Mark Cavendish claims another victory, this time in Germany, whilst young Welsh rider, Rebecca James looks as though she'll be keeping Pendleton and Romero honest!

Our Quad Wheelchair Tennis team won the Team World Cup, with the women's team finishing second - on their debut in the competition! Paralympian swimmers set three new European records in the national championships.

I knew it; somehow, I've always known

The experts finally admit it - chocolate is good for you!

3BT: Hint; Regenerate;Shabby

I've written three pieces for Robert Swartwood's Hint competition - follow the link there for further details and examples of what you need to do and where to send it. I'll just check them over again and make a final decision - I actually wrote six, but they have to be original stories you're hinting at so I'm guessing this one I'll just use as an example for you!

Comfort Food

The witch woke up in a nightmare of her own making; she'd forgotten the chocolate. And those kids wouldnt get fat on their own.

See! Easy, yes? I might make it a regular feature, just for the fun of it it, along with the #blogtakeoverday!

The Regenerate has opened for business! It's very much a 'Work-in-Progress' as more features are added, but if you are a Medway artist, writer, photographer or view Medway in any creative way, please do get in touch because all submissions will be considered for publication on the blog, and subsequently, hopefully, in an actual magazine!

And yes, I've changed the background of this blog again - a friend of mine has a thing about buttons, you see - and then I came across this one on my travels, courtesy of Shabby Blogs! They even had a lovely pink blinkie that was perfect for Dance Dance Dance! Do check them out if you fancy a style and colour change.

Enzo's Pit Stop

I ama astounded - I doughta Michael was alla fita anda raring to go and now dey tell me 'e isa "indisposeda"! A stiffa neck? What isa alla databouta, huh? A stiffa neck? What is he, some kinda wimpa or what? I remember, back ina de daya, gearing up a for a race with my arma ina slinga and running a temperature of 104c - no stamina, dese prima donnas today! Dey need a stint as a mule shoer in de army, datta sorta de men froma de boys, you know whad I’m saying. Mr Baracca senior, he was impresseda wida my bravery and audacity - I'da never beena presented with de prancing horse for being a nancy, you know whad I mean?

And whadda dey doing widda my cars this year anyhows? I'msa gedding a little bitta annoyeda now wid Kimi, he's a Ferrari world champion for crying oudda loud - whassup wid' him? Apart from being a boring bastard, I mean? It wasa ok while 'e was a winning but maybe he a needa some ice shoved down 'is pantsa, huh? Whaddya dink? I'm offa to finda ice bucket ... Ciao, Bella! *Mwah*


For more info on #blogtakeover day, visit Quillers here!

The things they say ...

I'm going to have to ban Matt from watching telly - he's far too influenced by the adverts. How do I know this? We're walking along the high street, it's boiling hot and he says:

"I'm so hot I could keep fish alive under my armpits. Here, feel."

Er, thanks for the offer, but no. (And he keeps nicking his brother's "Line-X")

Bulwer Lytton Winners

The results of this years competition have been posted - I didn't win, nor even get a dishonourable mention *sob* which tells me I probably need to put more effort in, starting now, rather than attempting it the month before the closing date, an afflicton I'm suffering from greatly, since there simply aren't enough hours in the day.

This is the link for the results, have fun!

There's a chance I can re-write a couple for this competition instead - I can't stand waste! But I've less than two weeks: The Hint submissions are open till 15th August and linking here means I can submit three stories ... so I ought to crack on now! Failure in that of course, means they'll at least be freed up for possible use on the Scatter!

These were my entries for Bulwer (reading previous entries under the link will give you the idea; it's fun, have a go!)

1. Staring at her reflection in the grimy shed window, she raised the garden shears (a little blunt and exceedingly rusty but they’d have to do) and hacked away her golden locks; thinking of him - his satisfying, honeyed porridge; soft, comfy chair; warm, snug bed - hate washed over her and she shoved the amputated ringlets through his cat flap.

2. Laying the worms in a line, Charles neatly severed them in half, wondering how long it would take for them to regenerate - the butterfly’s wings had never grown back and the daddy longlegs hadn’t moved since he'd pulled the legs off - he was beginning to despair of his theory; thankfully, the publishing deal was signed and sealed.

3. His fingers crashed across the keyboard, until it became apparent that the SmartBridge Alerts, MSN Messenger pop up, McAfee Expiry message and the “This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down” warning had no intention of allowing him to logon in time to make a deal with the kidnappers.

4. He glances furtively to either side as he leaves his downtown office, buttoning up the grubby brown mac, which used to be beige he thinks, or maybe taupe, or was it actually a creamy colour - a present from Auntie Edna, if he remembers correctly, but wear and tear and dodgy curries had taken their toll.

5. Scarlett was a spoilt little bitch, who lifted her skirts for the boys and couldn’t give a damn if the washing up needed doing; she wasn’t doing it and that was that.

6. Frodo was idly checking through his diary when he clapped his hand to his head in despair; he’d forgotten Uncle Bilbo’s birthday.

Had to share ...Stevie Wonder and Tony Bennett

...found this yesterday for #musicmonday on Twitter, but felt it deserved to be seen here too!

World Swimming Championships

Have a read of Steve Parry’s review of our best ever World Championships, with Liam Tancock adding a fourth Gold in another world record – beating the time he set in the semi, Jo Jackson taking another silver, this time in the 800m Freestyle, and Fran Halsall grabbing the silver in the 100m Freestyle.