Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Confessions of a Storyboarder

Storyboarding day on the scriptwriting course - this was a laugh and a half. Remind me never to enrol in an Art class. It certainly opens your eyes to a director’s job though - every single shot, not just scene; every angle of every camera shot has to be drawn.

We were given scenarios to choose from; I took ‘Someone was late’ and based it on standing up a boyfriend. Oh, come on - it was 28 years ago, I’m sure he’s forgiven me now. Sorry David! You see, I got off the bus at one stop and he wasn’t there. So I waited (for half an hour) then decided to get the bus home (no mobiles then you see, kids - we managed. Well, except in this instance, obviously - would have saved a lot of bother.) So my bus drives around the corner and I see David waiting at the bus stop around there. I was supposed to be meeting his mum for the first time; I bottled it and stayed on the bus. He phoned the next day and before he could say anything, I berated him for standing me up …I never did meet his mum. Oh, well - it never would have worked between us: He was an Arsenal fan.

From a story persective though - there's a 'what if' scenario if ever there was! What if ...I'd gotten off that bus? I might not be here typing this! :o

Sunday, 8 February 2009

Running Commentary, Dancing on Ice: Week Five

Special guest Bette Midler (looking very trim) opens the show with T&D in understated mood, to a song that could be the American Eurovision entry. The transitions betweens T&D’s lifts are just so effortless, just like the chat between Bette and Phil, much less awkward than the scripted exchange between Bette and Brucie. Holly’s ready for bed (I jest, that’s the nicest dress I’ve seen her in so far.) The required element: One footed change of edge, I think they said. My telly can’t cope with the orange and pink combos, I wish they’d stop it. And Melinda will never stay in that dress and I want trousers like Maria’s (without the see-through bits). And oh, God - Roxiel are doing the Headbanger! A warning first please, don’t just surprise us! Karen reminds me of my sister-in-law. Ruthie gets boos!

Pavica are doing a Fred and Ginge - Cheek to Cheek. A few nerves crept in there but a proper ballroom dance on ice, accompanied by Ella. Works for me. Score: 22 Floral are counting music and dancing to Black and Gold - now where’ve I heard that recently? Skated very well I thought, loved the Olympic hydroplane, plenty of skating. Score: 17 Roxiel - toe curling buttock clenching time - it’s Hallelujah. Lovely routine, their Headbanger not so scary, beautiful lifts - it’s the footwork transitions on the ice that are sometimes a bit sticky (like I’d know). Score: 16.5 Jason’s set the audience off again. PS. Re the Headbanger, it became a float due to a slightly clumsy entry, which is why it wasn‘t so scary.

Frankery “Don’t mention the lift!” are enjoying themselves to Boogie Wonderland, needs more speed and hasn’t improved as much as I thought he would. Fun though. Score: 15 Zomatt bringing out some tricky lifts - but she’s not crying so that’s an improvement. Gorgeous routine to one of the first songs I ever bought - ‘Lovin You’ by Minnie Ripperton who was married to Richard Rudolph who produced the ‘Lady T’ album by Teena Marie, my favourite singer. What’s that, this isn’t 6 degrees from …ok Score: 22 Todzie have ‘Smile’ aw, bless - perfect. Looking much more confident in training. Come on Todd! Is it me or has anyone else noticed they all looking a bit trimmer tonight? Heartwarming and sweet; looked like he did more skating in training though?! Score: 8.5

Frelinda dancing to ‘Up’ by the Saturdays. I’d never heard of them before ‘Issues’ which bugged me for ages before I found out who it was. Such a shame about the stumble, although well recovered it was looking like a routine full of attitude until then. She’s gutted - but may get the chance again. Score: 16.5. Colart - oh dear - you know how I feel about the crying/I can’t do it brigade. Can’t fight the moonlight or the tears! There now - what was she worried about? Really nice routine, only one little titchy barely there trip. LOL at the horse impression. Score: 15.5 Maray being challenged all the way with the choreography - wish they’d challenge him to lose that hair band! This is brilliant - absolutely my favourite of the night, the musicality, the rhythm, the fun, the dancing - Canned Heat by Jamiroquai a terrific choice for them. Score: 26.5 Well deserved, just the slight wobble on the knees at the end.

After the shock last week we know no-one is safe, so I’ve thrown a vote in for Pavica, Floral, Roxiel and Maray. Didn’t foresee Michanie last week, so not tempting fate again tonight! Jason was asked who’s out-stayed their welcome and answers “Apart from me?” The Skate Off - Safe and skating next week: Roxiel -yay - Maray - yay - Frelinda - Pavica - yay - Floral - yay and WooHoo! Zomatt; So who’ve the fans deserted - Todzie or Colart or both? Just noticed the glitter on Phil’s suit - ugh. Colart safe! Unless Ellery really stuffs up, he’ll be safe - the nerves took hold though and Ruthie went for the improved performance of Todd but it’s 4-1. I feel quite choked actually. Until they said those magic words: It’s 80’s week next week!!!! What do we reckon? Never Gonna Give You Up - Tainted Love - I Feel For You - Don’t You Want Me - True - The Only Way is Up - Vienna - When I Think of You - OMG, there are so many … over to you, Foxy! :D

Strictly Come Dancing LIVE …mine’s a G & T

No ‘Running Commentary’ - it wouldn’t be fair on anyone yet to see the show - all I’ll do is recommend you do! It was a brilliant night’s entertainment, Julian Clary only marginally more hilarious than the warm up man - I had to lose the cardigan very early on as he had us up and dancing to Celebration and Amarillo before the start.

Tom and Cam were up first and the size of the dance floor meant they had to adjust their quickstep somewhat but what a way to kick off. It became apparent that Len was fixated on various parts of the anatomy, Bruno was on top form, Arlene was…Arlene, as only she can be and Craig was roundly booed for every score under 8!

Ballroom dance of the night was Gethin and Flavia’s waltz, although, I have to say I do prefer the original and why have wardrobe re-hashed Gillian’s tea-towel dress for Flavia? A quick break and the warm up man was back and showing an expertise in disco dancing, second only to me when I’ve had a few. Before the spotlights went up and the judges were preparing to re-take their places, both Bruno and Craig are spinning and dancing madly at opposite ends of the stage - the shadows looked fantastic, they should let us see them properly.

The Latin round brought us Julian’s samba - think Todd skating off the ice the other week and that’s how much I was laughing! Tom and Cam’s samba on the other hand, was full of joy and infectious rhythm and had incorporated some of the salsa moves, particularly the armography and is one very good reason to buy the DVD when it comes out. That, and it was impossible to watch everyone in the group dances, where I had eyes only for Gethin and Tom. Gethin got the crowd gagging for him - ok, we already were - whipping us up with his salsa.

Having been, it becomes clear why Rachel and Julian have been having such success ;) but not tonight! Once Tom was eliminated, hopes rested with Gethin and when it was just him and Rachel left and he was announced ‘WINNER’, I was up and punching the air and screaming. The poor woman next to me had been so quiet all night, putting up with me singing, dancing, cheering and booing where appropriate. The poor woman the other side of me was my mum; she’s used to it. We were played out of the arena by Stomp; anyone not yet in the mood for dancing, that would've clinched it.

Saturday, 7 February 2009

I could’ve sworn it was Ian ...

I dropped Brad into his place on the way to work this morning, and as we drove up the hill I saw a paper boy cross the road ahead and wave as we approached. So I waved back and Brad says; “What are you doing?”

“I’m waving at Ian.”

“That’s’ not Ian."

“He waved at us.”

“No, he slipped on that patch of ice and his arm went like that *waves arm randomly*. He was nothing like Ian. Honestly, woman.”

Friday, 6 February 2009

It's snowing again. So here's a joke...

I don't know what made me think of it today, it's very old but here goes.

A man called an escort agency and requested a tall, slim red headed woman. When she turned up he asked her to strip off and kneel on all fours in front of the fire. She was a bit peturbed but did as she was asked. He said he wouldn't be a moment and left the room, returning a few minutes later with a Red Setter and saying:

"You see, that's what you'll look like if you don't eat your dinner!"

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

3BT: Scenes we’d like to see - Letters ignored by Jim’ll Fixit

Dear Jim, I’m a judge on Strictly Come Dancing and I want to decide the winner - can you fix it for me?

Dear Jim, my husband is having an affair with his secretary and I’ve heard you’re known as ‘The Fixer’, is this true?

Dear Jim, I can‘t get out of my turning because of the snow - do you have a 4x4 I can borrow?

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

3BT: Music Choices

Way to go, Foxy! It’s my new Show Dance …

For some reason I thought this was called Wishing Well, which is why I couldn’t find it on Youtube *Doh!* I think it’d make a lovely Viennese Waltz. Toby played it on the Time Tunnel, the year was 1987 and I’m sure of that because Toby also played this.(Reminds me of Corfu, September that year.) If only I wasn‘t in the car at the time - I jest, I still dance. I get some funny looks from fellow motorists but I still dance!

Monday, 2 February 2009

Winter Sports Night

Jenny Jones - first British woman to win a medal in the prestigious X-Games and it’s GOLD!

Shelley Rudman, Bob Skeleton European Champion and topping the World Cup Rankings - with a broken finger and in her first season back after giving birth. And footballers wear gloves *sniggers*

Sinead and John Kerr win Ice Dance European Championship Bronze - the first medal since Torvill and Dean in 1994.

And to illustrate how fantastic these results are …

I’ve only been ski-ing twice, the first time in Sauze Doux (Italy) where there was very little snow. I only got the bug on the last day, when we found a nice little slope I could manage. Up till then, I’d only attempted the big nursery slope; my experienced friend and guide led me sidestepping up the slope, turned me round - and let me go …away, off down the hill, arms outstretched. No snowplough, nothing. Just straight ahead down the slope, heading for a bunch of Italian teenagers having a lesson. They’re all lined up, either side of an instructor at the head of them. They see me coming and start with the handclaps and “Hup-hup-hup-hup” (watch Ski Sunday) and I’m yelling “GET OUT OF THE WAY, GET OUT OF THE WAY …” The ski
instructor turns at the last minute, can of coke in hand - all I remember is the tin flying up in the air and an arc of cola glinting in the sunlight. We end up over the fence, on top of each other in someone’s back garden. Anyway, so he’s pulling me to my feet …and then pulling me to my feet again. And again. And starts telling me ‘Ercu et ercu’ I think; I’ve no idea what it means, but he’s illustrating by turning me from side to side, so I think it might be “Turn, you pathetic English idiot, turn!” But it isn’t recognised on the on-line translator I tried.

The second time was in Bulgaria and this time we went with Ski-School - and were traversing across moguls on black runs within three days. Awesome. Then I had my ski’s nicked and they replaced the fine, cool, aluminium(?) ones I’d had with two planks of wood. They say I just fell over and have no idea how the binding snapped. I say I did a three and a half turn somersault with a two full twists and that’s how the binding snapped. I didn’t go again. It was an ambition; I’m cured now.

Sunday, 1 February 2009

Running Commentary, Dancing on Ice: Week Four

T&D and a fantastic return for Chris. Don’t know the song (help me, Foxy!) but I loved that routine. Full of swing and energy and fire. The required element tonight: Pairs spiral - Todd’s speciality!

Frelinda are doing the Macarena, I love it; Fred doesn’t. Why'd they put Melinda in an orange meringue? She looks like a bottle of Lucozade about to explode. Little bit tentative but overall well done. Score: 16.5 Oi, Jason - I was doing that last week “drunk people at a party” indeed. Well, duh! Maray dancing to Smooth Criminal, very funky but losing confidence. Adored the moonwalk sequence, small stumble but the butterfly jump brought his confidence back. Terrific musicality and spiral. Score: 24. Nicky’s face while Jason‘s talking LOL, he’s the one getting Jason in the car park tonight! To coin a TV Burp phrase: Fight, fight, fight, fight …Zomatt have Hot and Cold - very Zoe! Much more confident, the hypnotherapist appears to have worked. But she didn’t seem to have much skating, he seemed to do all the work. The necklace lift was great - foreshadowing the Headbanger to come, no doubt. Score: 20.

An impressive start for Frankery to With or Without You and an impressive lift, bit tentative in other places and overall it wasn’t particularly memorable. Score: 16 Ruthie being booed big time for “a safe performance” it didn’t have the fun of his first week, to be fair. Collart are in the mood for dancing! So am I, always! Samba feathers to go with a promenade walk. Spiral a bit shaky but they have such a fun time. Score: 16 Nicky’s going to be joined by Karen in the car park. Floral do The Blues Brothers Everybody Needs Somebody - Jayne wasn‘t kidding when she said there was some great music tonight. Nice suit, I bet her jacket will come off, she’s got tassles dangling out the back. Yep, there it goes. Such a shame about the fall, but a fantastic recovery, seems totally unfazed and carries on. Good on yer, Donal! He was so going for it. Score: 16 Nicky compensated for Jason and Ruthie’s low scores. Lovin’ the audience drowning out nasty Jason. :D wouldn’t it be great if the Strictly audience did that! Incidentally, I finally got round to checking my phone bill. I shan‘t be voting tonight.

Michanie have a bad fall and I’m thinking, oh, no, not again. But it’s Mel this time and she’s ok. *Phew* Dancing to Kiss (and make it better?) Excellent performance considering, great spiral, nice and fluid, almost back to last year’s Michael. Score: 18.5 Roxiel perform their best to date to Sweet about Me, lovely choreography, very warm partnership. Score: 17 should be safe, puts them above the melee. Todzie - dunno about Every Breath You Take - we’re all holding ours! I’m still laughing at last week, which is just as well, because this week wasn‘t anywhere near as entertaining. His spiral was better but I don’t think the comic choreography did him any favours. Better to give him proper choreography he can muck up, much funnier. Score: 7.5 - he got more last week!? Pavica last up to Groove is in the Heart. Very smooth and rhythmic, fantastic neck spin. Best spiral of the night and the performance was there. Score: 21.5 I didn’t see a stumble, apart from her eyelashes, which seem to have fallen on her cheeks.

Skate off? Frelinda or Frankery possibly. I think from Roxiel upwards on the scoreboard will be safe. But no: Safe and Skating next week: Floral; Pavica; Zomatt; Maray; Roxiel; Frankery! Todzie! Collart! It’s Frelinda and Michanie - they were so popular last year! Frelinda nailed the lift, more fluid. I didn’t know Mel and Fred were married. Michanie show more of Michael actually skating. Both stronger, nothing between them. Two votes each - Robin the casting one and it goes to Frelinda. Shame, Michanie were just starting to get their old partnership back.

Is it just me …

… or did anyone else notice Harry Hill making a cameo appearance on Demons last night?

I can’t wait to see if he mentions it on TV Burp next week …lol.